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Audiobooks Narrated by John Beach
Browse audiobooks narrated by John Beach, listen to samples and when you're ready head over to Audiobooks.com where you can get 3 FREE audiobooks on us
'This is that rare audiobook that truly makes the print version come alive. The sound effects alone are priceless, with homage to Grammy Award-winner Bobby McFerrin. If you've ever wondered what punctuation marks sound like, Beach provides hilarious voices and sound effects for each one. A masterful, creative, amusing, must-have production that simplifies the rules of punctuation.'- School Library Journal
A Live Oak Media audio production.
To earn his Ghosthunting Diploma, Tom's got to nab a deadly Twelfth Messenger. But while on the hunt in the haunted town of Bogpool, Tom stumbles into the mucked-up lair of a mud-loving minotaur who has an entire army of ghosts at his command. Suddenly there's a lot more at stake than Tom's graduation. This raging beast is dead-set on doomsday and that's no bull! From the Compact Disc edition.
Horrifying things are happening at Gloomsburg Castle. To begin with, the creepy place is crawling with Tiny Biting Ghosts (or “TIBIGs,” in official ghosthunter code). And now it appears as if the murderous spirit of a brutal Baroness has taken hold of the land-lady, infecting her with a killer case of hic–hic–hiccups!
Of course Hugo the Averagely Spooky Ghost is instantly smitten with Her Hideous Highness, only to find out that love stinks! And it smells something awful, too. Looks like the time has come for Tom to put an end to the “foul” play and concoct a plan that will dispel this decaying royal for good.
Can Tom and the team “dampen the spirit”–permanently!–of a fiery phantom, or are they about to get burned?
Boy hero Tom, Hugo the Averagely Spooky Ghost, and famed ghoul hunter Hetty Hyssop have formed an agency dedicated to dealing with difficult apparitions. No spook can defeat them–until their too close encounter with a Gruesome Invincible Lightning Ghost.
This superheated specter (or “GILIG,” in ghosthunter-speak) has taken over the penthouse suite of a beachfront hotel, where it’s passing its eternal vacation by turning guests into ghosts themselves!
Maybe Hugo’s slime can douse the flaming phantom–or maybe the ghosthunters’ plan is doomed to go up in smoke. . . . Get scared silly!
It’s an icky, sticky situation…
Look out for ghost goo! Dripping sticky green slime wherever it goes, an “ASG” (that’s Averagely Spooky Ghost) is hiding out in Tom’s cellar. Why? Because it’s being haunted, too — by a much bigger, way badder Incredibly Revolting Ghost (“IRG,” for anyone new to ghouls). And the IRG is the kind of ghost that uses its head — as a ginormous bellowing bowling ball, gross!
Good thing for Tom his grandma’s best friend just happens to be a world-famous ghosthunter…
The Nerve-Shattering Clamax to the biggest science fiction series ever written! Will Lombar Hisst successfully defy the invasion force of Fleet Officer Jettero Heller and Prince Mortiiy? Or will the Voltarian arch-villain's number finally be up? Will J. Walter Madison, maniacal "PR" man, get what he deserves? And what, in the end, will be Earth's fate as Heller races against time to prevent the planet's total destruction? Find out these answers and more in this riotous, nonstop concluding episode of L. Ron Hubbard's best-selling epic, Mission Earth. "It is witty, satirical and fast-paced action to weave a plot that is suspenseful and entertaining." --Abilene Reporter News"
Captivating entertainment. A spectacular cavalcade of the wild experiences of Royal Fleet Officer Jettero Heller caught up in a superbly imaginative and intricate plot. Heller has been sent to eliminate pollution on Earth to make it habitable for the coming invaders, but Voltarian killer/spy Soltan Gris (our evil narrator) is bent on sabotaging his mission. Volume 3 of the biggest Science Fiction dekology ever written -- Mission Earth. "...the granddaddy of all series... --The Los Angeles Times"
Riveting, superbly plotted intrigue. A new style of Science Fiction epic, rooted in the clandestine worlds of intelligence, drug smuggling and crime. With all of the suspense elements of the fast-paced spy/mystery thriller. Exotically spiced with a liberal dash of humor and a hint of sex. Volume 1 of the biggest Science Fiction dekology ever written -- Mission Earth. A thriller packed with lust, laughs, adventure and murderous intrigue. --Literary Guild"
A story that you and your butt will never forget!
Join Zack on his epic journey across the Great Windy Desert and through the Brown Forest, to reclaim his runaway butt.
(Based on a true story.)
A heart-stopping, nostril-burning sequel to the international bestseller The Day My Butt Went Psycho! Find out what happens when butts attack . . . from outer space!
In the deepest, darkest corner of the solar system lies an enemy more terrifying than the people of Earth could imagine. Vicious warriors who will let nothing stand in the way of their crusade for galactic domination. They're cunning. They're ruthless. They're zombie butts from Uranus!
Earth has only one hope for salvation. Zack, a twelve-year-old who wants nothing more than to wash his hands of the whole butt-fighting business. But Zack cannot shirk his duty-and he cannot escape his destiny. Joined by an assortment of butt-fighters, and his own brave butt, Zack will do what he must to rid the earth of these stinky space invaders.
Identity crises, consumerism, and star-crossed teenage love in a futuristic society where people connect to the Internet via feeds implanted in their brains.
For Titus and his friends, it started out like any ordinary trip to the moon - a chance to party during spring break and play with some stupid low-grav at the Ricochet Lounge. But that was before the crazy hacker caused all their feeds to malfunction, sending them to the hospital to lie around with nothing inside their heads for days. And it was before Titus met Violet, a beautiful, brainy teenage girl who has decided to fight the feed and its omnipresent ability to categorize human thoughts and desires. Following in the footsteps of George Orwell, Anthony Burgess, and Kurt Vonnegut Jr., M. T. Anderson has created a not-so-brave new world , and a smart, savage satire that has captivated readers with its view of an imagined future that veers unnervingly close to the here and now.
Vibrating with action and excitement. The New York Mafia is under aerial assault. The United States is about to declare war. The world's oil supply is rumored to be radioactive. And a mountain of ice is plunging from outer space directly toward Earth! The insane Chief of the Central Information Apparatus has seized control of the Confederacy and the fate of Earth and Voltar sway in the balance as all hell breaks loose in the fastest non-stop volume yet. Volume 7 of the biggest Science Fiction dekology ever written -Mission Earth. "Remember how you felt the first time you saw Star Wars? This book will do it to you again." ---Orson Scott Card"
