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Sisters at heart ... After a long, adventurous and exhausting spring break, Kallie's almost ready to go back to school just so she can forget about her mother, trouble with Azure, and especially everything that happened with Zeus. But trouble never takes a break, especially when Kallie's certain AB's enemy is targeting her friends and turning them into Alterants -- and when Amory reaches out to Fatgirl over her website, Kallie fears the worst. But her worst fears are nothing compared to Amory's ...
C. S. Johnson (Author), Jennifer Groberg (Narrator)
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Daisy the Dumpster Dog - A Sordid Tale of Dystopian Hubris and Convenient Canine Rationalizations: B
This audiobook is narrated by a digital voice. Daisy the Dumpster Dog - a Sordid Tale of Dystopian Hubris and Convenient Canine Rationalizations (But Not a Supreme Court Satire or Parody) by Blade Cort; Book 7 of 7 in the Predictable Paths series. Daisy is enjoying a great day, eagerly awaiting the arrival of dumpster Delights. But before she can set her paws on any goodies, Rat Dog gimps-in from nowhere and mocks her oversized ears and stubby tail, then treats her friends with equal impertinence. The sniveling, half-breed chihuahua also has the audacity to demand his fair share of dumpster Delights, angering the high-born purebreds who claim first dibs over lowly mongrels like himself. Daisy and friends tentatively take the Rat into their lair but are soon sorry they did so. Seeking justice, he picks fights with the snootiest snouts in the land, from the lowliest pack bosses to the Fidoish Club, GogMadDog, and Swatter Bowl Mangi. Who dares bark against the most-high Mangi when they regularly commune with the pretty dead demidog founders and purveyors of the Canistution? Who dares to mock their pedigreed interpretations that are divined after wriggling and wraggling on their backs in prescient visions of the founders' musty and most holy intentions? Rat Dog does, in his own words (sic): 'Will you ever speak on your own behalf, or will you always follow the stinky scent to a predictable and dreary bowl of chow that someone else put out for you? If so, then roll over and be a good boy while your trainers pull at your leash and chain and bark commands at you from behind the dark doggie door.' Given his limited peanut brain, the Rat fears nothing. Can he bring about equity in dogdom and obtain his fair share of dumpster Delights, or will he get ingloriously popped like the troublesome tick that he is?
Blade Cort (Author), Digital Voice Mia G (Narrator)
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Bicycles of the Gods: A Divine Comedy
In Bicycles of the Gods, the main character, Jesse, presents an earthly incarnation of Jesus Christ come to earth in the body of a 12-year-old boy in the company of Xavi, who is the earthly incarnation of Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds, also a 12-year-old boy. The pair stand on a hilltop above the city of Los Angeles contemplating how best to destroy it as a precursor to destroying the entire world to rid it of humanity so it can refresh and rebuild. Xavi is ready to get on with the task The Big Guy, God, has assigned them, but Jesse has a problem. He isn’t sure that everyone deserves to be destroyed. A playful, provocative, and imaginative discursus, Bicycles of the Gods is an affront to racism, sexism, classism, ageism, and heterosexism as it posits a Divine who will not be captured and used by white supremacists for their own purposes. Michael Simms has created an engaging new world order that functions within our familiar one.—Rev. Dr. Moni McIntyre, author of Social Ethics and the Return to Cosmology Set in today’s digital-age Los Angeles, with a delightful cast of characters, including celestial ones “in disguise to make it easier to move through the world,” you will encounter The Big Guy, Maria, Jesse, Xavi, Luke, and Abe, as well as Christine, Mikey, Patrick, the Six Sisters of the Piston, Father Jack, Stefan the Poet, Birdie, Dharma the Dog, and Caruso the Parrot, all of whom are caught up in the tragic-comic battle between the forces of Good and Evil, Light and Darkness. Michael Simms has given us a frolicking and “novel” approach to the Apocalypse of John that offers a front-row seat to the shenanigans of the times in which we are presently living....—Rev. Dr. Charles Davidson, author of Bone Dead and Rising: Vincent van Gogh and the Self Before God
Michael Simms (Author), Benjamin Fife (Narrator)
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Bedlam & Belfry, Intergalactic Attorneys at Law: The 1st Dozen
Have you ever needed a lawyer? If that's the case, then Bedlam & Belfry, Intergalactic Attorneys at Law are the ones for you! Bedlam & Belfry, Intergalactic Attorneys at Law: The 1st Dozen features the first twelve adventures of the morally challenged barristers as originally seen in Bedlam & Belfry, Intergalactic Attorneys at Law Vols. 1-4. Their opponents range from God above to the Devil himself, and their clients include the rich, the very rich, and the filthy rich! Stories include: Bedlam & Belfry Beat The Odds Bedlam & Belfry Go Broke Bedlam & Belfry Get Elected and exactly nine more! Bedlam & Belfry are always open for business if the money is good, so if you're of a mind to become rich yourself, then with the proper lawsuit, they're your men!
Glen Cadigan (Author), The Audiophiles (Narrator)
Audiobook
A warm wind blows and everyone seems to lose their mind. Two men are searching for love. Scripps is a writer who wanders into town and falls quick for a woman. Yogi is a war veteran who can’t seem to find love anywhere. The warm wind drives both to do crazy things. Published originally in 1926. Public domain.
Ernest Hemingway (Author), Rodney Falcon (Narrator)
Audiobook
Love at first bite ... Kallie -- as her super-sized, super-hero self -- has had a hard day, and literally the last thing she needs is to find out another Alterant is running loose. And when AB's Phi-ger goes off, she's hardly pleased. But genuine worry starts to overtake her as this time, it's Zeus who's digested the radioactive doughnuts. If he's compromised, Zeus could easily reveal Fatgirl's true identity to the world, and what else could be his worst fear? Along with AB, Kallie races over to save him. Only to be met with the shock of her life ...
C. S. Johnson (Author), Jennifer Groberg (Narrator)
Audiobook
We'll have a gay, old time ... There's nothing worse than a long ride in the car with AB, or so Kallie thinks as they head off to the Fairview Mountain Rehab Center to pay a visit to Trevor Darlington. But once they arrive, she finds there are some things that are indeed worse than Abuela-Blanca's kami-nazi driving -- such as running into Azure, her fashion designer from Model Middle America. Only he's not Azure -- or is he? Maybe? There's nothing 'Azure' about the pasty-faced, non-makeup wearing man who shares Azure's face, any more than Kallie is truly 'Arlanda.' Kallie's more than certain it's a twin thing, even as he begs her to keep his truly devastating secret for fear of losing his job, his clout, and his reputation ... But when he consumes a radioactive doughnut, Kallie has no room for hesitation, and she fears her promise suddenly just got a lot harder to keep ... Azure Skies is episode 9 in C. S. Johnson's superhero satire serial, Fatgirl. You'll never look at doughnuts the same way after consuming this series!
C. S. Johnson (Author), Jennifer Groberg (Narrator)
Audiobook
The Robot Who Looked Like Me: Stories
In 'The Robot Who Looked Like Me,' a busy man and a busy woman find a way to carve out time to romance each other-by having look-alike robots made to do the job-who then run away together. The twelve other stories in this collection are 'Slaves of Time,' 'Voices,' 'A Supplicant in Space,' 'Sneak Previews,' 'Zirn Left Unguarded, the Jenghik Palace in Flames, John Westerly Dead,' 'Welcome to the Standard Nightmare,' 'The Never-Ending Western Movie,' 'What Is Life?', 'I See a Man Sitting on a Chair, and the Chair Is Biting His Leg,' 'Is That What People Do?', 'Silversmith Wishes,' and 'End City.' From the very beginning of his career, Robert Sheckley was recognized by fans, reviewers, and fellow authors as a master storyteller and the wittiest satirist working in the science fiction field. Rediscover, or discover for the first time, a master of science fiction who, according to the New York Times, was 'a precursor to Douglas Adams.'
Robert Sheckley (Author), Johnny Heller (Narrator)
Audiobook
Meet Vanessa Salomon, a privileged and misanthropic French-American translator hailing from a wealthy Parisian family. Her twin sister is a famous movie star, which Vanessa resents deeply and daily. The only man Vanessa ever loved recently killed himself by jumping off the roof of her building. It’s a full life. Vanessa has just started working on an English translation of a titillating, experimental thriller by a dead author when she’s offered a more prominent gig: translating the latest book by an Extremely Famous French Writer who is not in any way based on Michel Houellebecq. As soon as she agrees to meet this writer, however, her other, more obscure project begins to fight back—leading Vanessa down into a literary hell of traps and con games and sadism and doppelgangers and mystic visions and strange assignations and, finally, the secret of life itself. Peppered with “sponsored content” providing cocktail recipes utilizing a brand of liquor imported by the film director Steven Soderbergh, and with a cameo from the actress Juno Temple, Bad Eminence is at once an old-school literary satire in the mode of Vladimir Nabokov as well as a jolly thumb in the eyes of contemporary screen-life and digital celebrity.
James Greer (Author), Kate Reading (Narrator)
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Fatgirl: Episodes 7-10: Box Set #3
FATGIRL: EPISODES 7-10 BOX SET (FATGIRL OMNIBUS COLLECTION #3) You'll never look at doughnuts the same way again. Kallie's come a long way from accidentally stuffing her face full of Abuela-Blancha's radioactive doughnuts. Now, Kallie's actually almost confident she can handle anything -- even if it means standing up to her best frenemy, especially when Amory declares no one in their group of friends will have a date for the Spring Fling. Too bad Kallie's set to miss it anyway, since AB needs to go to Fort Lauderdale to confront ZZ over who gave her AB's stolen doughnut recipe. Along the way, Kallie will face difficult, challenging questions that have life-altering answers: What's so great about Florida, anyway? Just who is this Agent Grey who's on the scene? WHY IS HER MOTHER IN FLORIDA? Also, why did Max Powers become a police officer? And how can Azure's real be name ... 'Stan' ... really, seriously? Find out in this sweet, surprising Omnibus installment of Fatgirl! INCLUDES: Fatgirl: Spring Fling Fatgirl: Black Powers Fatgirl: Azure Skies Fatgirl: Lard Boy Fatgirl is a satirical, science fiction superhero series about growing up, PC culture, and diet culture from award-winning, genre-hopping author C. S. Johnson. Perfect for fans of Marvel, Mean Girls, and The Golden Girls!
C. S. Johnson (Author), Jennifer Groberb (Narrator)
Audiobook
Brought to you by Penguin. The audiobook of Eric is read by Colin Morgan (Merlin; Testament of Youth; Belfast). BAFTA and Golden Globe award-winning actor Bill Nighy (Love Actually; Pirates of the Caribbean; Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows) reads the footnotes, and Peter Serafinowicz (Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace; Shaun of the Dead) stars as the voice of Death. Featuring a new theme tune composed by James Hannigan. Eric is the Discworld's only demonology hacker. Pity he's not very good at it. All he wants is his three wishes granted. Nothing fancy - to be immortal, rule the world, have the most beautiful woman in the world fall madly in love with him, the usual stuff. But instead of a tractable demon, he calls up Rincewind, probably the most incompetent wizard in the universe, and the extremely intractable and hostile form of travel accessory known as the Luggage. With them on his side, Eric's in for a ride through space and time that is bound to make him wish (quite fervently) again - this time that he'd never been born. Eric is the fourth book in the Wizards series, but you can listen to the Discworld novels in any order. The first book in the Discworld series - The Colour of Magic - was published in 1983. Some elements of the Discworld universe may reflect this. © Terry and Lyn Pratchett 1990 (P) Penguin Audio 2022
Terry Pratchett (Author), Bill Nighy, Colin Morgan, Peter Serafinowicz (Narrator)
Audiobook
“Slyly defiant and blazingly imaginative, like the best modernist literature, Everything Abridged is a powerful celebration of flaw and failure. It’s a book that revels in the timelessness of obsolescence and the freedom of powerlessness. Dayle’s a genre-shattering writer, whose wit and intellect never cease to entertain. This refreshingly original and powerfully funny collection is a debut to remember.” —Paul Beatty, New York Times bestselling author of The Sellout For readers of David Wong, Paul Beatty, and George Saunders, an electrifying and wholly original collection of satirical stories that create a bitingly funny portrait of American racism, capitalism, and politics Framed as a reference work of humorous “entries” that offer trenchant social commentary, Everything Abridged presages a dark vision of the near future but tells jokes in the face of it: An intelligence agency operative uncovers a conspiracy to generate conspiracies and realizes his participation in the scheme. A Caribbean monarch meets four decades of American presidents and adjusts his country’s foreign policy accordingly. Experiment participants are asked to bring back a gun as quickly as possible. A copywriter on a space colony advertises a weapon with the potential to destroy his home during an intergalactic war. These and other linked stories, many of which feature a speculative bent—about being Black in America, law enforcement practices in an android society, Olympic speed walking, consumerism, nuclear war, and more—are interspersed with hilarious, one-line definitions for words ranging from abolition to zygote, creating a sharply humorous portrait of American inequality. With his singular wit, sharp prose, and shrewd observations, Dennard Dayle captures the struggles his characters face to keep hold of their sanity in a society collapsing into chaos and absurdity.
Dennard Dayle (Author), Nathan Lang (Narrator)
Audiobook
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