Essays & Memoirs Audiobooks | Comedy

Suddenly, in the space of a moment, I realized what it was that I loved about Britain--which is to say, all of it. Every last bit of it, good and bad--old churches, country lanes, people saying 'Mustn't grumble' and 'I'm terribly sorry but,' people apologizing to me when I conk them with a careless elbow, milk in bottles, beans on toast, haymaking in June, seaside piers, Ordinance Survey maps, tea and crumpets, summer showers and foggy winter evenings--every bit of it." After nearly two decades in Britain, Bill Bryson, the acclaimed author of such bestsellers as The Mother Tongue and Made in America, decided it was time to move back to the United States for a while. This was partly to let his wife and kids experience life in Bryson's homeland--and partly because he had read that 3.7 million Americans believed that they had been abducted by aliens at one time or another. It was thus clear to him that his people needed him. But before leaving his much-loved home in North Yorkshire, Bryson insisted on taking one last trip around Britain, a sort of valedictory tour of the green and kindly island that had so long been his home. His aim was to take stock of modern-day Britain, and to analyze what he loved so much about a country that had produced Marmite, zebra crossings, and place names like Farleigh Wallop, Titsey, and Shellow Bowells. With characteristic wit and irreverence, Bill Bryson presents the ludicrous and the endearing in equal measure. The result is a hilarious social commentary that conveys the true glory of Britain.

Bill Bryson (Author), Bill Bryson (Narrator)

Audiobook

The Greatest Generation

In the spring of 1984, I went to the northwest of France, to Normandy, to prepare an NBC documentary on the fortieth anniversary of D-Day, the massive and daring Allied invasion of Europe that marked the beginning of the end of Adolf Hitler's Third Reich. There, I underwent a life-changing experience. As I walked the beaches with the American veterans who had returned for this anniversary, men in their sixties and seventies, and listened to their stories, I was deeply moved and profoundly grateful for all they had done. Ten years later, I returned to Normandy for the fiftieth anniversary of the invasion, and by then I had come to understand what this generation of Americans meant to history. It is, I believe, the greatest generation any society has ever produced.In this superb book, Tom Brokaw goes out into America, to tell through the stories of individual men and women the story of a generation, America's citizen heroes and heroines who came of age during the Great Depression and the Second World War and went on to build modern America. This generation was united not only by a common purpose, but also by common values--duty, honor, economy, courage, service, love of family and country, and, above all, responsibility for oneself. In this book, you will meet people whose everyday lives reveal how a generation persevered through war, and were trained by it, and then went on to create interesting and useful lives and the America we have today.In this book you'll meet people like Charles Van Gorder, who set up during D-Day a MASH-like medical facility in the middle of the fighting, and then came home to create a clinic and hospital in his hometown. You'll hear George Bush talk about how, as a Navy Air Corps combat pilot, one of his assignments was to read the mail of the enlisted men under him, to be sure no sensitive military information would be compromised. And so, Bush says, "I learned about life." You'll meet Trudy Elion, winner of the Nobel Prize in medicine, one of the many women in this book who found fulfilling careers in the changed society as a result of the war. You'll meet Martha Putney, one of the first black women to serve in the newly formed WACs. And you'll meet the members of the Romeo Club (Retired Old Men Eating Out), friends for life.

Tom Brokaw (Author), Tom Brokaw (Narrator)

Audiobook

Ranting Again

Dennis Miller is back, and he is Ranting Again in this hilarious compendium of wit, wisdom, and righteous outrage. This is good news for all of us who fume at the country’s lack of common sense, and seethe at the absurdity of the daily headlines. Setting his sights higher and wider than ever before, Dennis Miller is at the top of his game, unleashing his unique brand of scathing wit on anything and everything. Taking on such targets as illegal immigration, the sobriety movement, the American school system, and men who wear tight T-shirts even though they have big breasts, Miller proves that nobody is safe from his hilarious yet hard-hitting scrutiny. Showcasing Dennis Miller’s trademark blend of wide-ranging allusions, thought-provoking insights, and outrageous opinions, Ranting Again is a brilliant collection that is his sharpest and funniest yet.

Dennis Miller (Author), Dennis Miller (Narrator)

Audiobook

Rants Redux

Why are Americans so disinterested in politics? Because we can be. Democracy is voluntary. And our lack of interest hasn't happened overnight. It can be traced directly back to our ever-decreasing attention spans. We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez-small, sweet, and coming out of a funny plastic head. Why has flying in this country, especially boarding the plane, turned into this tedious Bataan death march with American Tourister overnight bags? And when did flight attendants get so cranky? Who do we find ourselves locked in this pointless pas de doo-doo over something called "arts funding?" The federal tab involved here is a lousy 500 million dollars. One-fifth the national budget! Less than the money spent on 1-900 calls from Air Force One. Mothers, immigration, marriage, parenthood, sports, political correctness, and our general attitudes toward each other-all are equally worthy of Dennis Miller's close inspection and ridicule. What's really going on in this country? Ask Dennis Miller. Or don't ask. He'll tell you anyway. Not that he really wants to go off on another rant. Remember, it's only his opinion, he could be wrong.

Dennis Miller (Author), Dennis Miller (Narrator)

Audiobook

The Rants

There’s good news for those that rage at the evening news, shake their heads at Washington’s business-as-usual, or watch as politicians carom from social crisis to political crisis to economic crisis: Dennis Miller is back, and he means to shake the nation by its lapels. Miller respects no boundaries. Whether the subject is dope-addled baseball players who can no longer swing their bats, do-nothing politicians who devote their careers to creating meaningful sound bites, or the nation’s resigned acceptance of violence as a way of American life, these thematically arranged monologues are funny and angry. More significantly, they shatter the conventions of comedy by simultaneously making us laugh, think, and seethe.

Dennis Miller (Author), Dennis Miller (Narrator)

Audiobook

I Rant, Therefore I Am

Once again there’s good news for those of us who rage at the evening news, shake our heads at Washington’s business-as-usual, or watch as politicians carom helplessly between political crises and sex scandals: Dennis Miller is back with his third installment of hilarious observations, I Rant, Therefore I Am. Dennis Miller first gained national acclaim as the wise-guy anchor of "Weekend Update" on "Saturday Night Live." When HBO premiered his weekly talk show in April 1994, both critics and fans enthusiastically agreed: "Dennis Miller Live" was the most refreshing talk show on television. The accolades have continued to pour in. In September 1994, Dennis and his staff won an Emmy Award for writing and have been regularly nominated since. When he takes the stage, the audience demands, "The rants, the rants, the rants," and once again, Dennis Miller delivers the goods. Fans of his smart, quirky, irreverent style of humor are in for another treat-this set of rants is even funnier than the last two rounds. Dennis Miller keeps on ranting in I Rant, Therefore I Am, and speaks his mind on topics like: MODELS-"How ironic that the most exquisite-looking people in the world should end up choosing the profession that requires them to spend all day by the phone waiting for the most hideous people to call them." COLLEGE-"I don’t think you should have to pay back college loans unless you get a job in your field. Put some pressure on the school. If I can’t pay my bills, I’m not paying yours." CONSUMERS-"You know how to tell when you’ve got a shopping problem? When the lights in the department store momentarily dim after they slide your credit card through the thing." FAITH-"I envy people who can just let go and totally commit. I, on the other hand, can’t even hear the title of the show ‘Touched by an Angel’ without thinking that a professional baseball player is being sued for sexual harassment." ASTRONAUTS-"Anybody who would strap themselves onto a giant deodorant spray can, set off a series of explosions under their ass until they’ve been blasted into the icy vacuum of deep space, and then step outside to take a walk must have more balls than a twenty-four-hour Tokyo driving range."

Dennis Miller (Author), Dennis Miller (Narrator)

Audiobook

Babyhood

I'm going to be totally honest. This is not the kind of audiobook that can help you. It's not a 'how-to,' a 'when-to,' or a 'what-to-expect.' It's not even endorsed by anyone remotely connected to the medical profession. (Although a cousin of mine who sells carpeting to doctors' offices not only found it 'insightful' and 'informative,' but felt that, 'if properly vacuumed, it should last a lifetime.') 'A fine endorsement,' you say. 'But if I have only one audiobook to buy, shouldn't I go for the helpful one?' Let's compare: Those 'know-it-all' books tell you how to have a happy, healthy pregnancy. My book mentions a squirrel. Those books tell you how to care for a newborn child. My book describes how tired I am. Those books give you essential information you can use in a life-threatening emergency. My book has some very amusing anecdotes about poop. So really, it's up to you. If you want to be prepared and well-informed, I understand. But if you enjoy hearing the words 'pterodactyl' and 'uterus' in the same book, you've come to the right place.

Paul Reiser (Author), Paul Reiser (Narrator)

Audiobook

Neither Here Nor There

Bryson brings his unique brand of humour to travel writing as he shoulders his backpack, keeps a tight hold on his wallet and heads for Europe. Travelling with Stephen Katz--also his wonderful sidekick in A Walk in the Woods--he wanders from Hammerfest in the far north, to Istanbul on the cusp of Asia. As he makes his way round this incredibly varied continent, he retraces his travels as a student twenty years before with caustic hilarity.

Bill Bryson (Author), Bill Bryson (Narrator)

Audiobook

In a Sunburned Country

Just in time for the 2000 Olympics-the bestselling quthor of A Walk in the Woods takes listeners on a truly outrageous tour Down Under. Compared to his Australian excursions, Bill Bryson had it easy on the Appalachian Trail. Nonetheless, Bryson has on several occasions embarked on seemingly endless flights bound for a land where Little Debbies are scarce but insects are abundant (up to 220,000 species of them), not to mention crocodiles. Taking listeners on a rollicking ride far beyond packaged-tour routes, IN A SUNBURNED COUNTRY introduces a place where interesting things happen all the time. Leaving no Vegemite unsavored, listeners will accompany Bryson as he dodges jellyfish while learning to surf at Bondi Beach, discovers a fish that can climb trees, dehydrates in deserts where temperatures leap to 140 degrees F, and tells the true story of the rejected Danish architect who designed the Sydney Opera House.

Bill Bryson (Author), Bill Bryson (Narrator)

Audiobook

The Good Samaritan Strikes Again

Let the world's funniest sportsman tickle your funny bone with quirky homespun stories and whimsical perspectives on life. Patrick F. McManus gently pokes fun at the oddities of sacred institutions like friendship, marriage, and even hunting and fishing. Soon his crazy theories start making sense, and you know you've crossed the border into McManus country, where life is a little lighter-and much more amusing. McManus initiates you into his world with intimate tales of cub scout pranks, high school football rituals, and other rites of passage. He conveys an appealing sense of old-fashioned innocence that allows you to see the humor in modern life. Narrator Norman Dietz's comic genius brings out the full flavor of McManus' unique style. With Dietz's narration, you'll feel you're sitting in a patio chair, with a can of "beverage" and box of cigars, swapping stories with a buddy.

Patrick F. McManus (Author), Norman Dietz (Narrator)

Audiobook

Notes From a Small Island

Grab your umbrella and join best-selling author Bill Bryson for a grand tour through the heartland of the United Kingdom. As he wanders through tiny villages and bustling cities, his irreverent travelogue will keep you laughing out loud and eager to explore what lies just around the next corner. Before he returns to the United States after nearly two decades on British soil, Bryson decides to take a farewell jaunt through his adopted homeland. But his plans to neatly traverse the island by foot, bus, and train are soon thwarted. On weekends, odd train and bus schedules leave him stranded in isolated communities with damp, moldering inns. And as a destination beckons above the rooftops, a maze of city streets leads him further away. Amidst the difficulties, Bryson encounters quirky age-old customs, charming architecture, and salt-of-the-earth inhabitants. His uproarious social commentary and Ron McLarty's warm and witty performance will leave you feeling as if you have actually been travelling across the enchanting island.

Bill Bryson (Author), Ron McLarty (Narrator)

Audiobook

Mother Father Uncle Aunt

'...where the women are strong, the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.' There's a reason all those children in Lake Wobegon are above average. It might be the clean prairie air. It might be the wholesome wheat that's grown by the Norwegian bachelor farmers. And it just might be their strong, good-looking parents.Garrison Keillor's collection of 'News from Lake Wobegon' monologues-all taken from live broadcasts of A Prairie Home Companion-is an extended meditation on the joys, sorrows, challenges, and humor of raising children. The tales include 'Ronnie and the Winnebago' about a young man, his rock-star girlfriend, and his long struggle to earn his father's understanding; 'Love While You Dare' the story of August Johnson, who, after losing his brother in a gambler's prank in Copenhagen, flees to America rather than face his mother--who later comes to visit him in Lake Wobegon; and six more splendid, unforgettable accounts of how, in Keillor's words, 'the meek shall inherit the earth, and when we have done all we can with our children, it's time to step back and let them inherit it.' Contents: Ball Jars, Love While you Dare To, Saturday Morning in The Bon Marche, Family Trip to Yellowstone, The Flood, Bob Anderson's Last Dance, Children Will Break Your Heart, Ronnie and The Winnebago, Carl's Christmas Pageant, The Tombstone

Garrison Keillor (Author), Garrison Keillor (Narrator)

Audiobook

Essays & Memoirs Audiobooks in Comedy