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It's like having a wickedly witty uncle read twisted bedtime stories as comedian George Carlin performs personal picks from two very funny books. This uproarious collection includes three complete recordings, together for the first time: Grammy winners "Brain Droppings" and "Napalm & Silly Putty," plus "More Napalm & Silly Putty" 450 pp. 1-56511-916-9$59.95 / Highbridge Audio
George Carlin (Author), George Carlin (Narrator)
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When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
On the heels of George Carlin's #1 New York Times bestseller Napalm & Silly Putty comes When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? --infused with Carlin's trademark irreverent humor and biting cultural observations. Here we go again . . . George Carlin's hilarious When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? offers his cutting-edge opinions and observational humor on everything from evasive euphemistic language to politicians to the media to dead people. Nothing and no one is safe! Despite the current climate of political correctness, Carlin is not afraid to take on controversial topics: Carlin on the media: The media comprises equal parts business, politics, advertising, public relations, and show business. Nice combination. Enough bull for Texas to open a chain of branch offices. Carlin on the battle of the sexes: Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. Carlin on hygiene: When did they pass a law that says the people who make my sandwich have to be wearing gloves? I'm not comfortable with this. I don't want glove residue all over my food; it's not sanitary. Who knows where these gloves have been? Carlin on evasive language: Just to demonstrate how far using euphemisms in language has gone, some psychologists are now actually referring to ugly people as those with "severe appearance deficits." Hey, Doctor. How's that for "denial"? Carlin on politics: No self-respecting politician would ever admit to working in the government. They prefer to think of themselves "serving the nation." To help visualize the service they provide the country, you may wish to picture the things that take place on a stud farm. The thinking person's comic who uses words as weapons, Carlin puts voice to issues that capture the modern imagination. For instance, why are there Ten Commandments? Are UFOs real? What will the future really be like? This brand-new collection tackles all that and more. In When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? Carlin's razor-sharp observations demolish everyday values and leave you laughing out loud--delivering exactly what his countless fans have been waiting for.
George Carlin (Author), George Carlin (Narrator)
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We're Just Like You, Only Prettier: Confessions of a Tarnished Southern Belle
Celia Rivenbark's hilarious observations of life below the Mason-Dixon Line have made her a Southeast Booksellers Association best-selling author. In this collection of essays she shows how to be a true Southerner. For starters, don't forget that Chuck E. Cheese's is a place where a kid can be a kid- while mommie gets hammered on watered-down Bud Light. And never marry your cousin-unless he's got cable.
Celia Rivenbark (Author), Cynthia Darlow (Narrator)
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The Great Psychedelic Armadillo Picnic: A "Walk" in Austin
Kinky Friedman, the original Texas Jewboy, takes us on a rollicking, rock-and-rolling tour of his favorite city: Austin. Maybe you want to know which restaurant President Bush rates as his favorite Austin burger joint. Or maybe you want a glimpse of Willie Nelson’s home life (hint: Willie plays a lot of golf). Perhaps you want to get the best view of the Mexican free-tail bats as they make their nightly flights to and from the Congress Avenue Bridge. Or maybe you’re itching to learn the history of a city that birthed Janis Joplin, Stevie Ray Vaughan, and countless other music legends. It’s all here in The Great Psychedelic Armadillo Picnic, the slightly insane, amazingly practical, and totally kick-ass guide to the coolest city in Texas by none other than Kinky Friedman. This ain’t no ordinary travel guide, neither. “Like most other busy cities these days, Austin is not very effectively traversed by foot,” Kinky explains. “You must understand that ‘a walk in Austin’ is primarily a spiritual sort of thing.” As might be expected from this politically incorrect country-singer-turned-bestselling-mystery-author, the Kinkster’s tour includes a bunch of stuff you won’t ?nd in a Frommer’s guide, from descriptions of Austin’s notable trees and directions to skinny-dipping sites to lists of haunted places and quizzes and puzzles. So put on your cowboy hat and your brontosaurus-foreskin boots and head down south with the only book you need to get to the big heart of this great city. From the Hardcover edition.
Kinky Friedman (Author), Kinky Friedman, Stephen Hoye (Narrator)
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The New York Times calls him "the funniest man in America," and his legions of fans agree, laughing and snorting as they put his books on bestseller lists nationwide. In Boogers Are My Beat, Dave gives us the real scoop on: • The scientific search for the world's funniest joke (you can bet it includes the word "weasel") • RV camping in the Wal-Mart parking lot • Outwitting "smart" kitchen appliances and service contracts • Elections in Florida ("You can't spell Florida without 'duh'") • The Olympics, where people from all over the world come together to accuse each other of cheating • The truth about the Dakotas, the Lone Ranger, and feng shui • The choice between death and taxes And much, much more - including some truths about journalism and serious thoughts about 9/11.
Dave Barry (Author), Dick Hill, TBD (Narrator)
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Mindy Solomon absolutely has to leave Miami. Florida is bad for her head and her hair. She dreams of a dancing career on Broadway and moves to New York, but after a string of failures and mishaps, she realizes that she needs to rethink her grand plan. Finding herself spending way too much time in the comedy club where her future ex-boyfriend works, she nervously goes up onstage one night. People laugh. Not in the places where Mindy thought they would laugh, but hey, it's a start. Mindy and her best friend Ursula Duran, a man-magnet-model-slash-actress-slash-deeply troubled woman, soon embark on a wild ride that ricochets from New York's West Side Hotel for Women to the comedy circuit, auditions, photo shoots, film premieres, cable TV specials, Hollywood studios, late-night TV talk shows, and beyond. Surrounded by sleazy agents, sleazier lovers, and Ursula's even sleazier mother, the two find that life writes a few punch lines they weren't expecting... but through it all, they somehow manage to have the last laugh.
Rita Rudner (Author), Rita Rudner (Narrator)
Audiobook
Having unraveled the mysteries of Washington in his classic best-seller Parliament of Whores and the mysteries of economics in Eat the Rich, one of our shrewdest and most mordant foreign correspondents now turns his attention to what is these days the ultimate mystery - America's foreign policy. Although he has written about foreigners and foreign affairs for years, P.J. O'Rourke has, like most Americans, never really thought about foreign policy. Just as a dog owner doesn't have a "dog policy," says P.J., "we feed foreigners, take care of them, give them treats, and when absolutely necessary, whack them with a rolled up newspaper." But in Peace Kills, P.J. finally sets out to make sense of America's "Great Game" (no, not the slot machines in Vegas). He visits countries on the brink of conflict, in the grips of it, and still reeling from it, starting with Kosovo, where he discovers that "whenever there's injustice, oppression, and suffering, America will show up six months late and bomb the country next to where it's happening." From there, it's on to Egypt, Israel, Kuwait, Afghanistan, and Iraq, where P.J. witnesses both the start and finish of hostilities. P.J. also examines the effect of war and peace on the home front - from the absurd hassles of airport security to the hideous specter of anthrax (luckily the only threats in his mail are from credit card companies). Peace Kills is P.J. O'Rourke at his most incisive and relevant - an eye-opening look at a world much changed since he declared in his number-one national best-seller Give War a Chance that the most troubling aspect of war is sometimes peace itself.
P.J. O'Rourke (Author), Dick Hill (Narrator)
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The Suburban You: Reports from the Home Front
You are about to discover that living in the suburbs is a whole lot funnier than you ever thought possible. For this country’s 145,892,494 (give or take) suburbanites, Mark Falanga is an utterly deadpan (and thoroughly entertaining) spokesman. Mark Falanga is a slick urban dweller, at the top of his game professionally, with a gorgeous corporate executive wife and a hip coterie in the coolest neighborhood in the city. But when baby makes three, Mark and his family enter the twilight zone called the suburbs, where public schools are good, many wives stay home, and children ride their tricycles in the driveway. Nothing is the same ever again. With the dry wit of David Sedaris, and Dave Barry’s love of the absurd, Falanga details his new, suburban landscape from the point of view of a bewildered but gung-ho everyman. From the complex political pecking order in the neighborhood, with its ultracompetitive block parties and its consuming holiday-card rivalry, to the surprises lurking on every corner—such as the twelve-year-old pyromaniac next door and the suspiciously broad-shouldered “lady” on the commuter train—The Suburban You describes in slyly understated prose the vicissitudes of life in the ’burbs.
Mark Falanga (Author), Mark Falanga (Narrator)
Audiobook
The Great Psychedelic Armadillo Picnic: A
Kinky Friedman, the original Texas Jew boy, guides readers through the sights, sounds, food, and various and sundry oddities of his favorite Texas city. Known for live music and food, Austin is also the home of Willie Nelson, Janis Joplin, Stevie Ray Vaughan, and a number of other music legends. In this slightly insane and surprisingly practical guide to the coolest city in Texas, you ll find out which restaurant President Bush thinks is the best burger joint; you ll get a glimpse of Willie Nelson's home; and the best view of the Mexican free-tailed bats as they make their nightly flights to and from the Congress Avenue Bridge. This newest addition to the Crown Journeys series includes quizzes, puzzles, and bits of personal history you won't find in a Frommer's guide.
Kinky Friedman (Author), Stephen Hoye (Narrator)
Audiobook
Humorist Patrick F. McManus has been called "a master at spoofing sportsmen" by Publishers Weekly. His rib-tickling books about hunting, fishing, and camping receive rave reviews from national media. The New York Times Book Review writes, "Everybody should read Patrick McManus." In the chapters of Never Sniff a Gift Fish, McManus will teach you the wisdom that is usually shared only in the close ranks of modern-day hunters and gatherers. To complete your arsenal, McManus also includes The Hunter's Workout Guide and a special Family Camper's Dictionary. Exercises like the hindquarter shuffle will make you move like a hunter. And phrases like "Yip-yip-yip-Owoooooo!" will help you sound like one, too. Whether he's poking fun at fly fishing or taking on some other sportsman's icon, Patrick F. McManus is sure to have you laughing aloud. Norman Dietz's wry narration is the perfect vehicle for McManus' best-selling, tongue-in-cheek works. Also available: How I Got This Way, The Night the Bear Ate Goombaw, and The Good Samaritan Strikes Again.
Patrick F. McManus (Author), Norman Dietz (Narrator)
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True Believers: The Tragic Inner Life of Sports Fans
Bestselling author Queenan explores the world of sports fans in an attempt to understand the inexplicable: What does anyone get out of it? For Yankee, Cowboy, and Laker fans the answer is fairly clear: the return on investment is relatively high. But why do people root so passionately for tragically inept squads like the Boston Red Sox, the Chicago Cubs, and the Philadelphia Phillies? Why do people organize their emotional lives around lackluster franchises such as the Cleveland Cavaliers, the San Diego Padres, and the Phoenix Suns, none of whom have ever won a single championship in their entire history? Is it pure tribalism? An attempt to maintain contact with one's vanished childhood? In True Believers, humorist and lifelong Philly fan Joe Queenan answers these and many other questions, shedding light on--and reveling in--the culture and psychology of his countless fellow fans. Making pilgrimages to such cradles of competition as Notre Dame Stadium, Fenway, and Wrigley Field, Queenan delves into every aspect of fandom in such illuminating chapters as Fans Who Love Too Much (men, like the author, who actually resort to psychotherapy to deal with their unhealthy addiction), Fans Who Run in Front (the dreaded front runners), and Fans Who Misbehave (of the beer-spilling, mooning, and food-throwing varieties). True Believers is a hilarious but also heartfelt look into the world of those fans who realize that it is, in fact, more than just a game.
Joe Queenan, Joe Queenen (Author), Joe Queenan, Joe Queenen (Narrator)
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Perfect for commuter train rides, rush-hour gridlock, Pilates work-outs, or any time when levity might add to the very quality of life. With inimitable contributions by Merrill Markoe, Dave Barry, Garry Trudeau and Bruce McCall, you have a triumphant salute to one of America's greatest assets: its sense of humor. A salvo of hilarity from that loose canon of American humor that Mirth of a Nation editor Michael J. Rosen has culled from some 1200 pages of brilliantly original works by our best contemporary humorists. This action-packed compilation of highlights (FYI, we have no intention of mentioning "the funnybone" and how these CDs are sure to tickle it) includes Bobbie Ann Mason's stint at the La Bamba hotline, David Rakoff's insights on families, Andy Borowitz's memoir of Emily Dickinson (basically, she was a drunken jerk), and Michael Feldman's helpful (re)locating of the Midwest. Performed by Tony Roberts, Susie Essman, with guest performances by Stephen Collins, Michael Feldman, Cynthia Kaplan, Martha Plimpton, David Rakoff, M. Sweeney Lawless, Sandra Tsing Loh, and Mark O'Donnell.
Michael J. Rosen (Author), A Full Cast, A Full Cast, Tony Roberts (Narrator)
Audiobook
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