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Although HAM was the first US astronaut, at one point in history it seemed inevitable that the first deep space pilots would be humans. Of course, we know that things didn't work out that way. This is the story as it unfolded, included the real story of Tolan's flight and his dirty jokes. This is the story of space exploration gone different. ~~~~~ Excerpt ~~~~~ In the entire history of space exploration to that time, missions had been divided into 'manned' and 'unmanned.' Given the flights of Ham and Tolan, the nomenclature was clearly misleading and inappropriate. But for the short hops they made, no one had made a fuss about it (and, in the barbaric age of Ham’s flight, the feelings and sensibilities of other primates hadn’t even been seriously considered). The advent of Clyde Ector as the astronaut, and the prestige of the mission—the fact that the craft would be carrying a sentient being who was not a 'man' into deep space for the first time—precipitated a new crisis over the mission terminology. You may recall the angst that was aired at the time. Clearly, a change was necessary, as 'manned' was inaccurate and no one at all was interested in 'primated' missions, especially with the looming possibility of the future inclusion of other, non-primate, species. After many polls, committee meetings, and global summit conferences, the term 'creatured' was adopted. While no one really liked the term, it offended no one and was, therefore, deemed the least bad. Thus, by definition, it was a political triumph, if a linguistic abomination. Fortunately, linguists, as a group, do not tend to vote.
Tilly Jupiter (Author), Bill Bird (Narrator)
Audiobook
Although HAM was the first US astronaut, at one point in history it seemed inevitable that the first deep space pilots would be humans. Of course, we know that things didn't work out that way. This is the story as it unfolded, included the real story of Tolan's flight and his dirty jokes. This is the story of space exploration gone different. ~~~~~ Excerpt ~~~~~ In the entire history of space exploration to that time, missions had been divided into 'manned' and 'unmanned.' Given the flights of Ham and Tolan, the nomenclature was clearly misleading and inappropriate. But for the short hops they made, no one had made a fuss about it (and, in the barbaric age of Ham’s flight, the feelings and sensibilities of other primates hadn’t even been seriously considered). The advent of Clyde Ector as the astronaut, and the prestige of the mission—the fact that the craft would be carrying a sentient being who was not a 'man' into deep space for the first time—precipitated a new crisis over the mission terminology. You may recall the angst that was aired at the time. Clearly, a change was necessary, as 'manned' was inaccurate and no one at all was interested in 'primated' missions, especially with the looming possibility of the future inclusion of other, non-primate, species. After many polls, committee meetings, and global summit conferences, the term 'creatured' was adopted. While no one really liked the term, it offended no one and was, therefore, deemed the least bad. Thus, by definition, it was a political triumph, if a linguistic abomination. Fortunately, linguists, as a group, do not tend to vote.
Tilly Jupiter (Author), Bill Bird (Narrator)
Audiobook
Banned to a remote outlying planet thought devoid of anything useful, Charles finds an agreeable paradise run by women. He isn't exactly motivated to carry out his mission to exploit the planet. When the Home World sends a colleague to check on him, that threatens everything--including the planet itself. He needs to warn the Queen. ~~~~~ Excerpt ~~~~~ Charles woke to a gorgeous morning. His lovely Rakell lay stretched out beside him, her coppery body naked. Lazily he stroked the pale green line that ran down the center of her back until she woke. She raised her head and smiled at him and he knew she was waiting for his signal before reaching for the button to alert Andy. He stretched languidly and considered whether he would make love to her now or after breakfast. Decisions, decisions, he thought contentedly. Andy would have a delicious breakfast ready by the time he got up and showered and Rakell wasn’t going anywhere. When he walked into the garden, Andy promptly served a sumptuous breakfast of fruit and juice. As he ate, he lounged in his comfortable chair and took in the lush scenery that surrounded him. His domain. It belonged to the Queen, of course, everything did, but was his to enjoy and use. This entire part of the planet was a garden; calling the space around him a garden was a conceit of his. It was also his delight. Everyone took pains to see that it was always precisely what he wanted. Although most plant life seemed to flourish on their own, Charles could help but be amazed at the way his gardener, Amos, arranged a variety of colorful plants and stones to create a perfect ambiance for relaxation. Amos put the best gardeners on Charles’s home planet to shame. In subtle ways, he changed the view daily, somehow always managing to create the perfect atmosphere, the one that captured Charles’s mood exactly. Captures my mood or influences my moods? Charles thought absently.
Tilly Jupiter (Author), Bill Bird (Narrator)
Audiobook
Banned to a remote outlying planet thought devoid of anything useful, Charles finds an agreeable paradise run by women. He isn't exactly motivated to carry out his mission to exploit the planet. When the Home World sends a colleague to check on him, that threatens everything--including the planet itself. He needs to warn the Queen. ~~~~~ Excerpt ~~~~~ Charles woke to a gorgeous morning. His lovely Rakell lay stretched out beside him, her coppery body naked. Lazily he stroked the pale green line that ran down the center of her back until she woke. She raised her head and smiled at him and he knew she was waiting for his signal before reaching for the button to alert Andy. He stretched languidly and considered whether he would make love to her now or after breakfast. Decisions, decisions, he thought contentedly. Andy would have a delicious breakfast ready by the time he got up and showered and Rakell wasn’t going anywhere. When he walked into the garden, Andy promptly served a sumptuous breakfast of fruit and juice. As he ate, he lounged in his comfortable chair and took in the lush scenery that surrounded him. His domain. It belonged to the Queen, of course, everything did, but was his to enjoy and use. This entire part of the planet was a garden; calling the space around him a garden was a conceit of his. It was also his delight. Everyone took pains to see that it was always precisely what he wanted. Although most plant life seemed to flourish on their own, Charles could help but be amazed at the way his gardener, Amos, arranged a variety of colorful plants and stones to create a perfect ambiance for relaxation. Amos put the best gardeners on Charles’s home planet to shame. In subtle ways, he changed the view daily, somehow always managing to create the perfect atmosphere, the one that captured Charles’s mood exactly. Captures my mood or influences my moods? Charles thought absently.
Tilly Jupiter (Author), Bill Bird (Narrator)
Audiobook
When remote-controlled aircraft begin behaving erratically, even crashing, there is only one logical explanation – well, there are only two: aliens or your own government. The real shock is finding the signals are coming from people who've eaten at fast food restaurants. Of course, we've known all along the stuff is unhealthy. But this? ==== The aliens started small, buying up a few eateries in malls and some coffee shops. And then they expanded, just as the Asians had before them—but neither education nor commerce was the goal this time. They wanted knowledge, but not the kind that came from schools. “We knew your history, but didn’t know shit about what makes you humans tick,” was what Bernie said. It didn't take long for them to recognize that we had no idea what made us tick either, so they set out to blaze new trails in understanding peoplekind. Fast food places provided them with two significant tools for this task: First, humans went there in droves. 'You can't beat them away with a stick,' was how Bernie put it. Once they were there, they could be observed in their natural habitat, as it were. This nicely brought the subjects needed for the aliens’ field studies right to them. Secondly, we ingested, rather indiscriminately a variety of substances passing for food. The aliens developed their protein-based nanosensors and fed them to us. Who knew? The damn things moved into our bloodstreams, analyzing as they went. “We wanted to get to the heart of the matter,” was the way Doreen put it; I think she was unaware of the implied pun, so we forgave her. Hungry for data, they continued buying up fast food places, served nanosensors and observed us. We ate the food and the sensors, which transmitted back to data collectors that did some elementary preprocessing and relayed compressed data to, as I’ve said, Omaha...
Tilly Jupiter (Author), Mike Carnes (Narrator)
Audiobook
The Alien Fast-Food War: Audiobook 1 of 'Visions of Jupiter'
When remote-controlled aircraft begin behaving erratically, even crashing, there is only one logical explanation – well, there are only two: aliens or your own government. The real shock is finding the signals are coming from people who've eaten at fast food restaurants. Of course, we've known all along the stuff is unhealthy. But this? ==== The aliens started small, buying up a few eateries in malls and some coffee shops. And then they expanded, just as the Asians had before them—but neither education nor commerce was the goal this time. They wanted knowledge, but not the kind that came from schools. “We knew your history, but didn’t know shit about what makes you humans tick,” was what Bernie said. It didn't take long for them to recognize that we had no idea what made us tick either, so they set out to blaze new trails in understanding peoplekind. Fast food places provided them with two significant tools for this task: First, humans went there in droves. 'You can't beat them away with a stick,' was how Bernie put it. Once they were there, they could be observed in their natural habitat, as it were. This nicely brought the subjects needed for the aliens’ field studies right to them. Secondly, we ingested, rather indiscriminately a variety of substances passing for food. The aliens developed their protein-based nanosensors and fed them to us. Who knew? The damn things moved into our bloodstreams, analyzing as they went. “We wanted to get to the heart of the matter,” was the way Doreen put it; I think she was unaware of the implied pun, so we forgave her. Hungry for data, they continued buying up fast food places, served nanosensors and observed us. We ate the food and the sensors, which transmitted back to data collectors that did some elementary preprocessing and relayed compressed data to, as I’ve said, Omaha...
Tilly Jupiter (Author), Mike Carnes (Narrator)
Audiobook
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