How do you answer the question: "Who am I?" Do you base your self image on your successes, failures, acceptance, and/or rejections by others? Most of us do, but when we base our value and worth on external sources rather than what God says, our self-image will shift like sand, leading to an unstable and anxious sense of who we are. Experienced counselor and author Leslie Vernick shares that the answer to healing a negative self-image and low self-esteem is not in trying harder, gaining more popularity, being more productive, having more possessions, securing more power, having a coveted position, or in achieving perfection. A healthy sense of self doesn't happen by focusing on self at all. Instead a healthy self-image combines the security of knowing God's love with the humility that comes from knowing ourselves and how much we need Christ.
Leslie Vernick, counselor and social worker, has witnessed the devastating effects of emotional abuse. Many, including many in the church, have not addressed this form of destruction in families and relationships because it is difficult to talk about. With godly guidance and practical experience, Vernick offers an empathetic approach to recognizing an emotionally destructive relationship and addresses the symptoms and the damage with biblical tools. Readers will understand how to:
- Reveal behaviors that are meant to control, punish, and hurt
- Confront and speak truth when the timing is right
- Determine when to keep trying, when to get out
- Get safe and stay safe
- Build an identity in Christ
This practical and thorough resource will help countless individuals, families, and churches view abuse from God's perspective and understand how vital it is for victims to embrace His freedom from the physical, emotional, spiritual, and generational effects of emotionally destructive relationships.
Experience the blessings of an imperfect marriage. We all-at one time or another-have the opportunity to act right when our spouse acts wrong. There are no perfect marriages or perfect spouses. We know that having a good marriage requires effort and hard work. Yet we often don't know how to continue to love when we are angry, hurt, scared, or just plain irritated. Nor are we sure what that kind of love is supposed to look like. Should we be patient? Forgive and forget? Do something else entirely? Acting right when your spouse acts wrong will not necessarily guarantee a more satisfying marital relationship, nor will it automatically make your spouse change his or her ways-although both could occur. It will, however, help you see how God is stretching you in the midst of your marital difficulties, teach you to respond wisely when wronged, and lead you into a deeper relationship with Christ as you yield your will to his plan for your life and learn to be more like him.
Something Has to Change…
You can’t put it into words, but something is happening to you. Your stomach churns, your heart aches, and the tension in your marriage is making you feel weary and a little crazy. The constant criticism, disrespect, cruelty, deceit, and gross indifference are eroding your confidence and breaking your spirit.
For any woman caught in an emotionally destructive marriage, Leslie Vernick offers a personalized path forward. Based on decades of counseling experience, her intensely practical, biblical advice will show you how to establish boundaries and break free from emotional abuse. Learn to:
· identify damaging behaviors
· gain the skills to respond wisely
· promote healthy change
· stay safe
· understand when, why, and even how to leave
· recognize that God sees and hates what is happening to you
Trying harder to be a perfect fantasy wife won’t help fix what’s wrong your marriage. Discover instead how you can initiate effective changes to stop the cycle of destruction and restore hope for the future.
“Women in an emotionally abusive marriage do not need another book on how to have a good marriage; those books rub salt in raw wounds. No, they desperately need this book so that they can diagnose just how bad their marriage is and then, with Leslie’s clear expertise, develop a plan that will either begin to turn their marriage around...or give them a wise route of escape.”
—Dee Brestin, author of Idol Lies and The Friendships of Women
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