LoveReading Says
“My overarching aim for this book and my supporting research is to change the individual and public narrative around suicide. We need to better support people to lean into, and not away from, the deeper questioning, fear and conversation that suicide elicits in a way that facilitates a re-connection to life.” So explains author Tara Lal in the preface to her moving memoir, a brave book that achieves this aim.
After childhood traumas of losing her mother to cancer at the age of thirteen, and her father’s mental illness, Tara and her older brother Adam became incredibly close: “He was the loose rock upon which I tentatively placed my foot so that I could haul myself out of the water and begin to climb my mist-shrouded mountain. I clung to him, for when I looked below I saw the abyss. We didn’t talk about Mum, we simply loved and cared for each other.” Tragically, Adam took his life as a young man studying at Oxford.
Through reading Adam’s beautiful diaries after his death, Tara discovers “the dichotomy between the face he showed to the world and the conflicted, questioning, internal Adam”, and through these diaries Tara also finds a way back from the brink of despair.
Going onto to train as a physiotherapist and a firefighter, and now trained in suicide prevention, the author’s personal journey is a source of hope and inspiration, and her honest, compassionate memoir also offers an informed guiding light to those facing struggles with suicide, grief and mental illness.
Joanne Owen
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Standing on my Brother's Shoulders Synopsis
Tara's childhood was scarred by the debilitating mental illness of her father and by her mother's death from cancer when she was thirteen. Caught up in grief and despair, Tara and her older brother Adam developed a deep bond, but Adam struggled silently with anxiety and depression. Four years after their mother's death, he took his own life, while studying at Oxford University. Grief and insecurity threatened to engulf Tara, but eventually she found, within her brother's diaries, her reason to live. The story moves from London to Sydney as Tara rebuilds her life, firstly as a physiotherapist and then a firefighter. Through her search for understanding and a powerful dialogue with her brother, Tara finds her strength and a way to move beyond her past, to build a life of compassion, meaning and purpose.
Trained in suicide prevention and using her PhD studies to investigate the impact of suicide on firefighters, the author hopes that her story will bring hope to those facing their own struggles with grief, trauma or mental ill health, and inspire people to use their greatest challenges to help them grow and lead a more meaningful, fulfilled and engaged life.
About This Edition
| ISBN: |
9781786783561 |
| Publication date: |
8th September 2020 |
| Author: |
Tara Lal |
| Publisher: |
Watkins Publishing an imprint of Watkins Media |
| Format: |
Paperback |
| Pagination: |
272 pages |
| Primary Genre |
Biographies & Autobiographies
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| Other Genres: |
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Tara Lal Press Reviews
'Insightful, moving and informative.' Jane Garvey, presenter of Woman's Hour on BBC Radio 4.
'With honesty, compassion, humour and intelligence, Tara Lal has written a deeply affecting memoir. Her courageous book tracks the nature and processes of destruction, but more than this, the crucial reconstructions that can follow.' Alex Garland, screenwriter, director of Ex Machina and bestselling author of The Beach.
'The wonderful part of this story has been the opportunity to learn from the book and learn from the author - an extraordinary person who continues to share her love for life.' Allan Sparkes, former Deputy Commissioner of the Mental Health Commission, Australia.
'This is, without question, the most beautifully written, sensitive, balanced account of grieving that I have ever read. This book is going to be an absolute 'must read.'
- Patrick Casement, psychoanalyst and award-winning author of On Learning from the Patient and Learning from Our Mistakes
'I highly recommend this book to anyone who has themselves experienced suicidal ideation or mental ill health as well as to anyone who loves someone who has experienced these.' - Dr Timothy Sharp, The Happiness Institute
'What a beautifully written book. Touching and sensitive and a piece that I am sure will help in a difficult time.' - Gus Worland, radio and TV personality and founder of Gotcha4Life www.gotcha4life.org/gus
'Deeply moving and profoundly sad, at times this book somehow finds a way to give you hope and show you that good can come after tragedy.' - Professor Kirsten McCaffery, Sydney University, School of Public Health
'Tara unflinchingly deals with difficult but universal themes: loss, need, anger - but suffusing the whole is a loving and hopeful tone.' - Wanda Whitely, former Publishing Director, Harper Collins Publishers
'Her story will stay with you and inspire you forever.' - Dr Margo Orum, psychologist and author
'This is the honest and at times raw telling of the story of a strong but vulnerable firefighter as she struggles with, and is transformed by, the legacy of grief associated with the childhood loss of loved ones. Those on a similar journey will find guidance, inspiration and reassurance in this open, heartfelt book.'
- Susan Burton, psychologist
'Poignant, moving, enlightening...' - Abigail Hatherley, composer
'The most beautiful and moving book I have ever read' - Vicky Arlidge, musical comedian and composer
'I recommend this book to everyone I know.' - Genevieve Elliot, author of Screaming in Silence
'You are not just reading, with interest, of someone's life; you are there asking the same questions of yourself and learning compassion along the way. An extraordinary book.' - Jennifer Davis, psychologist
'Tara's inspiring story takes therapy and moves it into real life. Her resilience comes from tenacity, intelligence and openness to new experiences. She persisted with study, work and relationships, using her courage and adaptiveness to create a life worthy of her and the people she loves.'
- Tony Merritt, clinical psychologist
'So many times it expresses fears and doubts that we all have, in a succinct and yet profound manner. Tara's gift is to involve readers so completely in her journey that they, as I did, see the parallels in their own lives. I found it truly inspiring.'
--Clinton Batty, psychologist
