How to Raise a Teen

LoveReading Says

I remember my sister saying to me years ago when I was in the throes of toddlerdom that parenting a teen was a whole different level. I couldn’t comprehend it. Worse than the terrible twos? Never.

And then my kids hit the teenage years and I felt her pain. Her strain. Lordy, how did my parents cope with the four of us? How was I ever going to cope with our two?

As their needs flit between wanting to be grown up and yet still needing our support, teenagers veer wildly from one end of the spectrum to another. We are pulled from pillar to post unsure how to handle the unique challenges now facing us. Well, struggle no more as Ockwell-Smith in her inimitable style has got your back. And hurrah to that.

Our young people need us just as much now as they ever did, perhaps even more so. What they need however, looks different to the previous parenting, which is where the confusion sets in. They need us to guide and support them and, most importantly, they need us to hold on to them while preparing to let go in the not-too-distant future. I know. It's ne'er on impossible. But Ockwell-Smith talks with such sense and provides such sound advice and guidance for every step along the way, that it's hard to understand where I ever went wrong. As I have a word with myself about all the silly mistakes I've made along the way, I feel stronger, more prepared, more informed and wise. Wiser, anyway.

In teen years attachment takes a more psychological than physical form. They still need us just as much as they did when they were a wailing one-year-old, they just mask it darn well. It’s a young person's job to need their parents less and we need to remind ourselves of that. We're setting them up for the next chapter of their life. And remember that as we live through the lasts, not to take their increasing detachment personally. When did I become so emotional? So needy? So sensitive?

Tackling everything from common causes of conflict, hormones, brains and behaviour, boundaries and discipline, confidence and emotional wellbeing, increasing independence and friendships and relationships, Ockwell-Smith covers it all.

I'm definitely a work in progress but feel better equipped than ever before. Being the adult is harder than you'd think but I know I'll try and prioritise connection over correction and so we can create confident and secure young people ready for their next stage. Thanks Sarah.

Deborah Maclaren

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