Menopausing by Davina McCall with Dr Naomi Potter is the long-awaited book for women everywhere which smashes taboos around perimenopause and menopause.
We are thrilled to have the opportunity to talk to Davina McCall and ask her some questions about her take on sex, myths and the menopause. Here is what she had to say...
1. What made you want to talk so honestly about your experience with menopause?
One of the big things that I experienced when I was going through it myself was a real feeling of being alone, invisible, and lonely. I became so much braver and more confident, and felt safer, when I had the knowledge at my fingertips. Why is it so hard to get that knowledge? It’s so hard to access correct, medical information, and there’s so many different opinions. I wanted to write something where loads of women could tell their stories, and where I could write with a doctor I really respect and who knows everything there is to know about menopause, to stop other women ever feeling the way I did.
2. Over 70 women have contributed their experiences to the book – what inspired you to collect these experiences, and what do you hope they can provide for readers?
When you’re going through something that’s physically and emotionally quite tricky, there’s always a feeling that group therapy, or a group meeting, where people can share an experience, really helps get you through it. My experience of getting clean from alcohol and going to AA meetings and NA meetings really helped me realise the power of hearing other people’s stories, hearing people share what they’ve gone through, and knowing that these people understand what you’re going through. This shared experience is very powerful and very healing, so I knew it was important to have other women’s stories in this book.
3. What was your experience with perimenopause and what advice would you give to women who are going through it?
I didn’t even know the word perimenopause when I started going through it. I didn’t realise it was something that happened before the menopause and it was the term for when you’re first getting symptoms, but I also didn’t understand that a symptom could be as vague as not feeling yourself – not quite being able to put your finger on it, or feeling like ‘you know what? I haven’t belly laughed in six months’, losing your va va voom. Sometimes it can be really non-descript, and feel like you’re losing something can sometimes be the beginning of perimenopause. If you don’t know what’s going on, those are the types of feelings that are frightening because they’re not obvious. Nowadays, lots of women know what perimenopause is like and what the obvious symptoms are, but that’s a symptom that is quite subtle and can be quite frightening and isolating. It was so important to me that I informed people about the broader spectrum of perimenopause symptoms, as they can creep up on you over years, and sometimes before you get your first, fully-fledged symptom, like night sweats, you will have been experiencing perimenopause symptoms for a few years already, but you wouldn’t have known. There are real health benefits of tackling your perimenopause head on, so don’t feel like you have to soldier on. If you are beginning to feel symptoms of perimenopause, don’t feel like you have to carry this burden alone – you can do something about it, and informing yourself is the greatest way to start.
4. Recently, it’s been announced that HRT will be available over the counter at pharmacies – do you think this is a step far enough or is there still work to be done?
Importantly, HRT isn’t available over the counter in its full form – it’s only vaginal oestrogen which is specifically for people with vaginal atrophy. It’s fantastic, because that carries zero-risk and it’s completely safe which is why they can sell it over the counter, and it’s about time that they do, as it’s ridiculous it hasn’t been sold over the counter already. But, there’s always inroads to be made in terms of access to information about the other HRT, the combined HRT (progesterone and oestrogen), because it’s had such a bad rap and has been demonised for so long, and even the information leaflet on transdermal oestrogen is incorrect, and if the packaging information is incorrect then what hope do people have? It’s been incorrect for years, and people may fight to get their HRT, then read the risks inside the packet, and go ‘oh god, there’s no way I’m taking that’ and put it in the bin. These are the things we really need to change, but we are making inroads and over-the-counter vaginal oestrogen is a start.
5. What are some myths about HRT that you want to debunk?
I would say the top myth-busting facts from the book are that HRT doesn’t postpone your menopause, transdermal HRT carries no extra risk of blood clots or deep vein thrombosis, and transdermal HRT is beneficial to your health in many ways.
6. What can families and friends do to support women experiencing the menopause?
I think one of the most beautiful and amazing ways that you can support someone is to learn about it – learn about the perimenopause and menopause so that when you talk to your colleague, or friend, or partner, you can talk in an informed and educated way. Also, check in with them to see how they’re doing. Sometimes they just need a chat, sometimes they might need a cry, sometimes they may need to let off some steam, but just to feel understood, heard and seen is an enormous support.
7. MPs have called for menopause to be a protected characteristic in order to keep women in the workplace. What more in your opinion could be done in the workplace to help employees?
I think it should be an absolute no-brainer for all big businesses – for any of the big corporations – that a menopause specialist should come into their offices once a week, or once a fortnight, and be available for all of their employees to come and seek advice. Like I keep saying, education is the way that you can make an informed choice about your life, but if you don’t have the facts, how are you ever going to make an informed decision about your body? I’ve talked to three women in the past three days who are all at the top of their game, and all have told me they’re contemplating leaving work. I’m talking very high up women who know they’re good at their jobs because they’ve done it for thirty years! This is a crime, that women who can mentor other people on the way up and can offer an enormous amount due to their wisdom and longevity, are thinking about leaving. It’s a huge loss to the economy – so yes, a lot more should be done to keep women at work in their fifties, because for many, their kids are leaving home, and women are wanting to work. But, if you’re perimenopausal or menopausal and you don’t have the information you need, you’re going to want to leave just at the time when you could be enjoying it the most. It’s up to companies to get that information and support to their people – it’s not just a fan, it’s not opening a window, it’s not giving them a day off, it’s getting them somebody that can inform them (or getting them a copy of this book!).
8. There is a lot of stigma around menopause with many women not wanting to discuss the topic. You mention in the book your own experiences with encountering stigma – what do you think is the next step for women to be able to break the taboo?
With stigma, the more you talk about it, the less you feel it, because suddenly when you see people, hopefully people like me, Zoe Ball, Carol Vorderman, Lisa Snowdon, talking about it, that will lessen the stigma. There’s also stigma around HRT as well, somehow, that women that take it are chasing youth, or less of a woman because they’re not doing menopause naturally, but the way that I view it is that I really couldn’t sustain my relationships or my job without it, and I’m incredibly grateful for it. Since I’ve started taking it, I’ve found that it does lower the risk of many different things and I could quite potentially be saving the NHS money by being on it, so I’m not going to feel bad about taking it. I want to spread the message that regardless if you take HRT or not, we all have to take care of each other. Let’s not stigmatise anybody, because it’s a tough time for all of us – let’s have each other’s backs.
9. We often hear about the negative side effects of menopause – but in the book you shine a light on some of the positive effects. Can you share what these have been for you?
A really big positive effect of menopause for me has been this feeling of closing one door and opening another, and, I have to be honest, it did take me a couple of years to mourn and grieve the fact that I wouldn’t be able to have children anymore, and I felt that because of this that maybe it was the end of something. Then I suddenly started thinking to myself, if I’m not going to have any more children and my children are now teenagers, this means that I am going to be freed up to be able to go out, go away for the night occasionally, I could start a business, I could do anything – and suddenly it felt like a time of incredible liberty. I am working more now than I have done in years, and that’s because my children don’t need me at home as much as they did.
10. You’ve mentioned in the book and in many interviews that you knew nothing about menopause before going through it – what do you think could be done to educate women from a younger age?
In the book, I speak to Diane Danzebrink who got menopause education in PHSE in schools, which is fantastic. A bit like sex education, it is taught in PHSE, but it is the kind of thing we need to layer on with kids and remind them of again and again. Thankfully young people from this generation forwards will have at least heard the word ‘menopause’. It will also help them in their teenage years to understand why their mothers may get a bit angry out of nowhere, or why she may seem a bit different suddenly, and it may mean that they can then talk to their mums about if they may be menopausal.
11. Many women have issues with their sex lives in perimenopause and menopause and there’s a chapter in the book dedicated to this topic. What can readers expect from the chapter?
In the book, I want to express that whether you’re single or with a partner, you can still enjoy your sex life. We have an amazing sex expert in the book, Samantha Evans, who is a woman in her midlife who has dedicated herself to helping us feel more comfortable during sex or broaching sex during menopause.
12. You’ve mentioned that you’ve never had a reaction from the public like you’ve had around your Menopause documentaries and the work you’re doing with your community around menopause. Why do you think that is?
Today I had a man come in who thanked me, before tearing up and saying ‘you saved my marriage’ – it turns out him and his wife watched the documentaries together and his wife went on HRT. There’s not one day that goes past without someone talking to me about it, and I love that. I love the fact that we’re talking, and I love that it’s making a difference. I mention all the menopause warriors in the back of the book who I admire – with each reprint, I’ll keep adding the names of more menopausal women who inspire me, and I hope will inspire my readers as well. We’re in this together, and I’ve followed in the footsteps of so many other menopause warriors. It still feels like it’s an underground movement in some way, and it still feels like we have got a long way to go, but I’ve never experienced a reaction to anything I’ve ever done, like this.
13. With 1 in 4 women being prescribed antidepressants for menopause symptoms, it’s clear that there’s a lack of connection between menopause and mental health. What’s been your experience with mental health and menopause and what can women do who are experiencing low mood or depression?
There’s one end of the spectrum where someone feels a bit anxious or low, and, like I said, that first symptom of perimenopause where you can feel out of sorts, and many women talk about seeing a doctor, and say ‘I’m not depressed, I just feel down’ and they’re still prescribed anti-depressants. The NICE guidelines say at 45+, if a woman is presenting with these feelings, the first thing you get prescribed is HRT. Yet, many are still being prescribed anti-depressants, and it’s important to educate the women who are perimenopausal that this may be a symptom, so they can arm themselves with the facts and they can go to the doctor. If someone has had no previous history of depression and this has occurred for the first time at 45+, the NICE guidelines are very specific about what is supposed to happen, and that’s so important. Doctors, specialists, and experts need to come together and talk to each other, because if a woman is between 40-50, menopause should be on their radar, and should be a secondary part of any treatment they’re getting. It is an absolute terrible state of affairs when you think that the highest rate of suicide in women is between 45 and 55 – that means we’re doing women a disservice at the moment, and it is something that is treatable.
14. In the book, you mention Menopausing isn’t just a book but a movement, an uprising - what do you hope people take away from the book?
That they’re not alone. That there are a lot of us going through the same thing, and a lot of the time it’s unacceptable that we don’t know what’s happening to our bodies, and it’s unacceptable that we can’t get HRT, that there’s not enough supply. It’s unacceptable that we aren’t considered in terms of support in the workplace. There are so many things we need to fight for, and the more of us that come together to fight for it, the better. I’ve joined a group of women who have no agenda, no commercial gain – it’s called the Menopause Mandate and it’s where we’re trying to bring together all menopause groups to follow us and use the power we have to try to lobby government about making real, meaningful changes. We need to come together and make this a movement, so that our children, our daughters, don’t have to suffer like we did.
If you'd like more suggestions on what to read to help support or educate you and others on the menopause, check out our Collection: 13 Menopause Books to Reassure, Inspire and Support You.
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