Audiobooks narrated by Sean Schemmel

John Grogan, Richard Cowdrey (Author), Sean Schemmel (Narrator)

Audiobook

From the #1 New York Times bestseller author of Sh*t My Dad Says, Justin Halpern, comes a laugh-out-loud funny and deeply touching collection of personal stories about relationships with the opposite sex, from a first kiss to getting engaged and all the awkward moments in between. With Sh*t My Dad Says, Halpern brought his brand of talented comedic writing to the world. Now, with this equally poignant, hilarious, and provocative memoir, he establishes himself as one of popular writing's great humorists among the likes of David Sedaris, Sarah Vowell, and David Rakoff. Fans of biting, honor-infused memoirs such as Me Talk Pretty One Day and Assassination Vacation will find Halpern's I Suck at Girls an unforgettable journey into the best and worst moments of one man's adventures in romance. Book Description "Human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello. Then it ain't the unknown anymore and it ain't scary. Or I guess it could be a shitload scarier." Fans of the #1 bestseller Sh*t My Dad Says will recognize the always patient voice of Justin Halpern's dad as it crackles through this hysterical new audiobook. The story begins when Justin announces that he's decided to propose to his girlfriend. "You've been dating her for four years," his dad replies. "It ain't like you found a parallel fucking universe." But eventually he gives Justin some advice: that he should think back over everything he's learned in life about women, relationships, and himself before making his decision. And that's just what Justin does-revisiting everything from his disastrous childhood crushes to the night he finally lost his virginity while working as a dishwasher at Hooters. Full of his dad's patented brand of wisdom, it's also full of new characters just as funny-from his brother, who provides insights into wedding night rituals, to his first boss, who warns Justin to man up: "That's what a man does. He takes his shots and then he scrubs the shit out of some dishes." The result is a pilgrim's progress through the landscape of sex and love-by one of the funniest writers at work today.

Justin Halpern (Author), Sean Schemmel (Narrator)

Audiobook

Marley: Not a Peep!

Jeepers peepers! Cassie's class hatched chicks at school, and Cassie gets to bring them home for the weekend to share with her family. The chicks are very cute, but will need a lot of attention . . . which Marley soon finds out. While Cassie is out of the house on a playdate, leaving Marley to babysit, the chicks get loose from their cage and begin to run around the house! Can Marley round up the chicks before Cassie gets back, or will the temptation to have a playdate of his own be too great for him to resist? Find out in this lively Marley I Can Read!

John Grogan, Richard Cowdrey (Author), Sean Schemmel (Narrator)

Audiobook

Marley: The Dog Who Cried Woof

Woof! Woof! Woof! Marley barks at tricycles. Marley barks at trucks. Marley barks at mailmen . . . neighbors . . . even other dogs! His job is to let his family know when important things happen. But after all his barking, when something really important happens, will Marley's family still pay attention? Beginning readers will enjoy Marley's hilarious antics in Marley: The Dog Who Cried Woof, the perfect addition to the I Can Read! series inspired by John Grogan's bestselling picture books.

John Grogan, Richard Cowdrey (Author), Sean Schemmel (Narrator)

Audiobook

Marley: Marley and the Runaway Pumpkin

Marley's family has spent months growing a giant pumpkin to take to the fair. When the big day finally arrives, Mommy, Daddy, Cassie, and Baby Louie try to be extra careful with their blue-ribbon pumpkin. But with a dog like Marley around, being careful isn't always enough! Young readers will love Marley's delightfully destructive antics in this I Can Read story.

John Grogan, Richard Cowdrey (Author), Sean Schemmel (Narrator)

Audiobook

Marley: Marley's Big Adventure

Jessica Grogan, John Grogan, Richard Cowdrey (Author), Sean Schemmel (Narrator)

Audiobook

Marley: Messy Dog

When Mommy decides to surprise Cassie with a newly painted bedroom, she is careful to put Marley in the garage before she gets started. But as soon as her back is turned, Marley ventures into the house to "help." By the time he's done, the messy dog is in need of a little help himself! In this easy-to-follow story with beautiful full-color illustrations, Marley's good intentions lead to a series of mishaps that will entertain and delight young readers.

John Grogan, Richard Cowdrey (Author), Sean Schemmel (Narrator)

Audiobook

Marley: Snow Dog Marley

With the yard all covered in white, Marley's family is ready to enjoy the first snowfall of the season'and much to everyone's surprise, Marley is on his best behavior. Could it be that the family's normally wild puppy is a natural snow dog? Join Marley in this charming new addition to the I Can Read series. With simple text on every page, young readers will delight in reading Marley's hilarious adventures all by themselves.

John Grogan, Richard Cowdrey (Author), Sean Schemmel (Narrator)

Audiobook

Marley: Strike Three, Marley!

When Daddy and Cassie go to a baseball game with their dog in tow, Marley not only roots for the home team'he howls! With balls to catch, bats to chew and slobber on, and an entire field to dig up, Marley is having the time of his life. Will the team manage to shoo him off the diamond before Marley's wild ways cost them the game? Marley has won the hearts of millions of dog lovers, thanks to his hilarious antics and unwavering affection. Now the star of a new I Can Read! series, Marley brings his trademark misbehavior to the world of beginning readers.

John Grogan, Richard Cowdrey (Author), Sean Schemmel (Narrator)

Audiobook

Dirk Bones and the Mystery of the Haunted House

In the town of Ghostly, where every house is haunted, two ghosts are frightened. . . . Someone is haunting them with mysterious sounds: Clack, cluckity-cluck bing, blub blub. Or is it click, cluck-clackity cling, flub flub? They can't agree on what the sounds are, but they know they're not ghostly noises. What could be more scary? Good thing ace reporter Dirk Bones is on the case. Dirk writes for the town newspaper, The Ghostly Tombs, and as he collects the facts for his stories, he also solves mysteries. As Dirk investigates this zany case, he encounters more silly, creepy creatures in a town full of promise for more surprising mysteries to come.

Doug Cushman (Author), Sean Schemmel (Narrator)

Audiobook

Dirk Bones and the Mystery of the Missing Books

In the town of Ghostly, where everything is spooky, something really strange is going on: Books are disappearing! And not just any books'only those written by the famous author Edgar Bleek. Luckily ace reporter Dirk Bones is on the case. As Dirk tracks down information about the only clue'a weird spotted leaf'the mystery gets even more bizarre. What is happening in Ghostly? Expect the unexpected in this second Dirk Bones mystery about a fearless reporter in a town full of silly, creepy creatures.

Doug Cushman (Author), Sean Schemmel (Narrator)

Audiobook

Morris and Boris at the Circus

B. Wiseman, Bernard Wiseman (Author), Sean Schemmel (Narrator)

Audiobook

Audiobooks Narrated by Sean Schemmel