Audiobooks narrated by John Hodgman

"A hilarious, biting satire of the United States and its unpredictable leader from the best-selling author of The Circle The grand ship Glory has been skilfully captained for years, but when its well-loved old skipper decides to step down, a new leader thrusts himself forward and a new era begins. The new Captain is vulgar, bumbling and inexplicably confident. With no knowledge of nautical navigation or maritime law - nor even, as he has repeatedly remarked, a particular liking for boats - he solemnly swears to shake things up. Together with his band of petty thieves and confidence men known as the Upskirt Boys, the Captain enthralls his passengers: writing his dreams and notions on the cafeteria whiteboard, boasting of his exemplary anatomy, devouring cheeseburgers, and tossing anyone who dissatisfies him overboard. Until one day a famous pirate, long feared by passengers of the Glory but revered by the Captain for how phenomenally masculine he looks without a shirt while riding a horse, appears on the horizon . . . “A funny, macabre, and inspired modern fable about a boat and its captain. If there is any further metaphor involved, though, it is totally lost on me.” BJ NOVAK “A shattering, hilarious, spellbinding siren call from the deck of one of our greatest storytellers and prophets” EVE ENSLER “Utterly hysterical. This book gets it exactly right - the tone, the form, the kind of naive narrative that implies that all this is perfectly normal. I laughed out loud so frequently I was amazed, because I'm not that easy to make laugh out loud. Bravo.” ERIC IDLE “Completely absurd and true. As funny as it is scarily reflective of our times.” TOMMY ORANGE Dave Eggers is the author of twelve books, including The Monk of Mokha; The Circle; Heroes of the Frontier; A Hologram for the King, a finalist for the National Book Award; and What Is the What, a finalist for the National Book Critics Circle Award and winner of France's Prix Médicis Etranger. He is the founder of McSweeney's and the co-founder of 826 Valencia, a youth writing centre that has inspired similar programs around the world, and of ScholarMatch, which connects donors with students to make college accessible. He is the winner of the Dayton Literary Peace Prize and is the co-founder of Voice of Witness, a book series that illuminates human rights crises through oral history."

Dave Eggers (Author), John Hodgman (Narrator)

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Medallion Status: True Stories from Secret Rooms

""[An] affecting and hilarious meditation on fame and prestige as seen through the lens of an airline loyalty program." -The AV Club A hilarious and honest new book in which John Hodgman, New York Times bestselling author of Vacationland, leaves vacation behind and gets back to work as a still somewhat famous person . . . and then loses his job. An uproarious read. After spending most of his twenties pursuing a career as a literary agent, John Hodgman decided to try his own hand at writing. Following an appearance to promote one of his books on The Daily Show, he was invited to return as a contributor. This led to an unexpected and, frankly, implausible career in front of the camera that has lasted to this very day, or at least until 2016. In these pages, Hodgman explores the strangeness of his career, speaking plainly of fame, especially at the weird, marginal level he enjoyed it. Through these stories you will learn many things that only John Hodgman knows, such as how to prepare for a nude scene with an oboe, or what it feels like to go to a Hollywood party and realize that you are not nearly as famous as the Property Brothers, or, for that matter, those two famous corgis from Instagram. And there are stories about how, when your television gig is canceled, you can console yourself with the fact that all of that travel that made your young son so sad at least left you with a prize: platinum medallion status with your airline. Both unflinchingly funny and deeply heartfelt, Medallion Status is a thoughtful examination of status, fame, and identity--and about the way we all deal with those moments when we realize we aren't platinum status anymore and will have to get comfortable in that middle seat again."

John Hodgman (Author), John Hodgman (Narrator)

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Raised in Captivity: Fictional Nonfiction

"Microdoses of the straight dope, stories so true they had to be wrapped in fiction for our own protection, from the best-selling author of But What if We're Wrong? A man flying first class discovers a puma in the lavatory. A new coach of a small-town Oklahoma high school football team installs an offense comprised of only one, very special, play. A man explains to the police why he told the employee of his local bodega that his colleague looked like the lead singer of Depeche Mode, a statement that may or may not have led in some way to a violent crime. A college professor discusses with his friend his difficulties with the new generation of students. An obscure power pop band wrestles with its new-found fame when its song 'Blizzard of Summer' becomes an anthem for white supremacists. A couple considers getting a medical procedure that will transfer the pain of childbirth from the woman to her husband. A woman interviews a hit man about killing her husband but is shocked by the method he proposes. A man is recruited to join a secret government research team investigating why coin flips are no longer exactly 50/50. A man sees a whale struck by lightning, and knows that everything about his life has to change. A lawyer grapples with the unintended side effects of a veterinarian's rabies vaccination. Fair warning: Raised in Captivity does not slot into a smooth preexisting groove. If Saul Steinberg and Italo Calvino had adopted a child from a Romanian orphanage and raised him on Gary Larsen and Thomas Bernhard, he would still be nothing like Chuck Klosterman. They might be good company, though. Funny, wise and weird in equal measure, Raised in Captivity bids fair to be one of the most original and exciting story collections in recent memory, a fever graph of our deepest unvoiced hopes, fears and preoccupations. Ceaselessly inventive, hostile to corniness in all its forms, and mean only to the things that really deserve it, it marks a cosmic leap forward for one of our most consistently interesting writers. Read by Chuck Klosterman, James Urbaniak, Bill Wise, Eddie Huang, Jon Wurster, H. Jon Benjamin, Jon Dolan, Mike Birbiglia, Kurt Loder, John Hodgman, Sloane Crosley, Chris Gethard, Will Brill, Dennis Boutsikaris, Melissa Maerz, Jeremy Bobb, Scott Shepherd, Brent Musburger, and Vincent Kartheiser"

Chuck Klosterman (Author), Bill Wise, Chris Gethard, Chuck Klosterman, Eddie Huang, H. Jon Benjamin, James Urbaniak, John Hodgman, Jon Dolan, Jon Wurster, Kurt Loder, Mike Birbiglia, Sloane Crosley, Various, Will Brill (Narrator)

Audiobook

Little Owl's Audiobook Collection: Little Owl's Night; Little Owl's Day; Little Owl's Snow

"Little Owl's Night (narrated by Janet Varney): It's evening in the forest and Little Owl wakes up from his day-long sleep to watch his friends enjoying the night. Hedgehog sniffs for mushrooms, Skunk nibbles at berries, Frog croaks, and Cricket sings. A full moon rises and Little Owl can't understand why anyone would want to miss it. Could the daytime be nearly as wonderful? Mama Owl begins to describe it to him, but as the sun comes up, Little Owl falls fast asleep. Little Owl's Day (narrated by Dave Hill): Chikit-chikit-chik! A squirrel is chittering. Bees are buzzing. The sun is high in the sky. And Little Owl is supposed to be asleep, but when he wakes up early, he's just too curious to close his eyes again. The forest he knows so well at nighttime is completely different-and exciting-in the day! After watching butterflies dance, wolf pups play, and then his very first rainbow, Little Owl returns to his tree. He has many new stories for his mama. Little Owl's Snow (narrated by John Hodgman): 'Winter's almost here!' says Little Owl, as he observes leaves falling, animal friends hibernating, and a chill from his feathers to his feet. And just as he and his friend raccoon are watching their breath make fog in the cold air, it happens: Snow!"

Divya Srinivasan (Author), Dave Hill, Janet Varney, John Hodgman (Narrator)

Audiobook

Vacationland: True Stories from Painful Beaches

""I love everything about this hilarious book except the font size." -Jon Stewart Although his career as a bestselling author and on The Daily Show With Jon Stewart was founded on fake news and invented facts, in 2016 that routine didn't seem as funny to John Hodgman anymore. Everyone is doing it now. Disarmed of falsehood, he was left only with the awful truth: John Hodgman is an older white male monster with bad facial hair, wandering like a privileged Sasquatch through three wildernesses: the hills of Western Massachusetts where he spent much of his youth; the painful beaches of Maine that want to kill him (and some day will); and the metaphoric haunted forest of middle age that connects them. Vacationland collects these real life wanderings, and through them you learn of the horror of freshwater clams, the evolutionary purpose of the mustache, and which animals to keep as pets and which to kill with traps and poison. There is also some advice on how to react when the people of coastal Maine try to sacrifice you to their strange god. Though wildly, Hodgmaniacally funny as usual, it is also a poignant and sincere account of one human facing his forties, those years when men in particular must stop pretending to be the children of bright potential they were and settle into the failing bodies of the wiser, weird dads that they are."

John Hodgman (Author), John Hodgman (Narrator)

Audiobook

After On: A Novel of Silicon Valley

"The definitive novel of today's Silicon Valley, After On flash-captures our cultural and technological moment with up-to-the-instant savvy. Matters of privacy and government intrusion, post-Tinder romance, nihilistic terrorism, artificial consciousness, synthetic biology, and much more are tackled with authority and brash playfulness by New York Times bestselling author Rob Reid. Meet Phluttr-a diabolically addictive new social network and a villainess, heroine, enemy, and/or bestie to millions. Phluttr has ingested every fact and message ever sent to, from, and about her innumerable users. Her capabilities astound her makers-and they don't even know the tenth of it. But what's the purpose of this stunning creation? Is it a front for something even darker and more powerful than the NSA? A bid to create a trillion-dollar market by becoming "The UberX of Sex"? Or a reckless experiment that could spawn the digital equivalent of a middle-school mean girl with enough charisma, dirt, and cunning to bend the entire planet to her will? Phluttr has it in her to become the greatest gossip, flirt, or matchmaker in history. Or she could cure cancer, bring back Seinfeld, then start a nuclear war. Whatever she does, it's not up to us. But a motley band of Silicon Valley entrepreneurs, venture capitalists, and engineers might be able to influence her. After On achieves the literary singularity-fusing speculative satire and astonishing reality into a sharp-witted, ferociously believable, IMAX-wide view of our digital age. Narrated by Sean Kenin and January LaVoy, with: Felicia Day: NETGRRRL.COM Patrick Rothfuss: Special Field Operative Brock Hogan John Hodgman: Charles Henry Higgensworth III Tom Merritt: voice of The New York Times Jesse Cox: Whistle Blowings Blog Leo Laporte: voice of the San Francisco Chronicle Advance praise for After On "Enter a near-future Silicon Valley that is hilariously, creepily, mind-bogglingly fantastic, yet at the same time all too believable. It might turn out this way. No, really, it might! Along with After On's diabolically ingenious plot, there are crazy-plausible web startups, delicious parodies of social media, and a surprisingly convincing theory of human consciousness."-Chris Anderson, head of TED "Reading After On is like attending a master class in nearly every major issue haunting not only the tech industry but society itself. Only the professor is also a stand-up comic with a perfect ear for the foibles of Silicon Valley's most sacred cows. Part AI thriller, part arch social commentary, and part rollicking farce, After On will leave you smarter about just about everything the human species needs to work on if we're going to outlive our own creations-and our obsessions with them."-John Battelle, co-founder, NewCo, Federated Media, and Wired "The future is already here-it's just for those who read Reid!"-Steve Jurvetson, venture capitalist, Draper Fisher Jurvetson "Rob Reid doesn't write science fiction; he writes future history. After On is the best account I've read of how superintelligence will arrive and what it will mean for all of us. Hilarious, frightening, believable, and marvelously constructed-After On has it all."-Hugh Howey, New York Times bestselling author of Wool"

Rob Reid (Author), Felicia Day, January LaVoy, Jesse Cox, John Hodgman, Leo Laporte, Patrick Rothfuss, Sean Kenin, Tom Merritt (Narrator)

Audiobook

Normal: A Novel

"A smart, tight, provocative techno-thriller audiobook straight out of the very near future--by an iconic visionary writer Some people call it 'abyss gaze.' Gaze into the abyss all day and the abyss will gaze into you. There are two types of people who think professionally about the future: Foresight strategists are civil futurists who think about geoengineering and smart cities and ways to evade Our Coming Doom; strategic forecasters are spook futurists, who think about geopolitical upheaval and drone warfare and ways to prepare clients for Our Coming Doom. The former are paid by nonprofits and charities, the latter by global security groups and corporate think tanks. For both types, if you're good at it, and you spend your days and nights doing it, then it's something you can't do for long. Depression sets in. Mental illness festers. And if the abyss gaze takes hold there's only one place to recover: Normal Head, in the wilds of Oregon, within the secure perimeter of an experimental forest. When Adam Dearden, a foresight strategist, arrives at Normal Head, he is desperate to unplug and be immersed in sylvan silence. But then a patient goes missing from his locked bedroom, leaving nothing but a pile of insects in his wake. A staff investigation ensues; surveillance becomes total. As the mystery of the disappeared man unravels in Warren Ellis's Normal, Adam uncovers a conspiracy that calls into question the core principles of how and why we think about the future--and the past, and the now."

Warren Ellis (Author), John Hodgman (Narrator)

Audiobook

That Is All

"John Hodgman-bestselling author, The Daily Show's "Resident Expert", minor television celebrity, and deranged millionaire-brings us the third and final installment in his trilogy of Complete World Knowledge. In 2005, Dutton published The Areas of My Expertise, a handy little book of Complete World Knowledge, marked by the distinction that all of the fascinating trivia and amazing true facts were completely made up by its author, John Hodgman. At the time, Hodgman was merely a former literary agent and occasional scribbler of fake trivia. In short: a nobody. But during an interview on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, an incredible transformation occurred. He became a famous minor television personality. You may ask: During his whirlwind tornado ride through the high ether of minor fame and outrageous fortune, did John Hodgman forget how to write books of fake trivia? The answer is: Yes. Briefly. But soon, he remembered! And so he returned, crashing his Kansas farmhouse down upon the wicked witch of ignorance with More Information Than You Require, a New York Times bestseller containing even more mesmerizing and essential fake trivia, including seven hundred mole-man names (and their occupations). And now, John Hodgman completes his vision with That Is All, the last book in a trilogy of Complete World Knowledge. Like its predecessors, That Is All compiles incredibly handy made-up facts into brief articles, overlong lists, and beguiling narratives on new and familiar themes. It picks up exactly where More Information left off-specifically, at page 596-and finally completes COMPLETE WORLD KNOWLEDGE, just in time for the return of Quetzalcoatl and the end of human history in 2012. 16 Hours, Read by Dick Cavett, Patton Oswalt, Jon Hamm, Paul Rudd, Sarah Vowell, Brooke Shields, Scott Adsit, Robin Goldwasser, Jonathan Coulton, John Roderick, Rachel Maddow, Wyatt Cenac, Stephen Fry, Paul F. Tompkins, Prominent Ragnarok Denier Dr. Elliott Kalan. Music by Jonathan Coulton, John Roderick, John Flansburgh, John Darnielle, Cynthia Hopkins"

John Hodgman (Author), John Hodgman (Narrator)

Audiobook

Year Zero: A Novel

"NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER An alien advance party was suddenly nosing around my planet. Worse, they were lawyering up. . . . In the hilarious tradition of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Rob Reid takes you on a headlong journey through the outer reaches of the universe-and the inner workings of our absurdly dysfunctional music industry. Low-level entertainment lawyer Nick Carter thinks it's a prank, not an alien encounter, when a redheaded mullah and a curvaceous nun show up at his office. But Frampton and Carly are highly advanced (if bumbling) extraterrestrials. And boy, do they have news. The entire cosmos, they tell him, has been hopelessly hooked on humanity's music ever since "Year Zero" (1977 to us), when American pop songs first reached alien ears. This addiction has driven a vast intergalactic society to commit the biggest copyright violation since the Big Bang. The resulting fines and penalties have bankrupted the whole universe. We humans suddenly own everything-and the aliens are not amused. Nick Carter has just been tapped to clean up this mess before things get ugly, and he's an unlikely galaxy-hopping hero: He's scared of heights. He's also about to be fired. And he happens to have the same name as a Backstreet Boy. But he does know a thing or two about copyright law. And he's packing a couple of other pencil-pushing superpowers that could come in handy. Soon he's on the run from a sinister parrot and a highly combustible vacuum cleaner. With Carly and Frampton as his guides, Nick now has forty-eight hours to save humanity, while hopefully wowing the hot girl who lives down the hall from him. "Hilarious, provocative, and supersmart, Year Zero is a brilliant novel to be enjoyed in perpetuity in the known universe and in all unknown universes yet to be discovered."-John Hodgman, resident expert, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart"

Rob Reid (Author), John Hodgman (Narrator)

Audiobook

More Information Than You Require

"The New York Times bestseller by Famous Minor Television Personality John Hodgman-The Daily Show's 'Resident Expert' and the 'PC' in the iconic Apple ads-picks up exactly where his first book left off. In fact, 'the new volume is in every way a continuation of Areas of My Expertise, except in the ways it's clearly superior.' (The Onion AV Club) In 2005, John Hodgman published his first compendium of Complete World Knowledge, The Areas of My Expertise, a handy volume of fake trivia and made-up facts. Hodgmania was born. Virtually overnight, John Hodgman was whisked from tweedy obscurity to the high ether of minor celebrity. And from his strange new vantage point as a Famous Minor Television Personality, Hodgman realized that there is some world knowledge yet to be documented. And so he returned to exactly where he had left off-namely, page 256 of the paperback edition of The Areas of My Expertise. And he brought with him: MORE INFORMATION THAN YOU REQUIRE. Which, naturally, begins on page 257. Like its predecessor, More Information Than You Require consists of brief articles, overlong lists, frighteningly complex charts, and beguiling narratives on new and familiar themes such as: THE PAST (because there is always more of it) THE FUTURE (because they say there is still some left) MOLE-MEN (including a list of 700 Mole-man names) GAMBLING, THE SPORT OF THE ATHSMATIC MAN (including hermit crab racing) CRYPTOGEOGRAPHY (including Canada) HOW TO BE A FAMOUS MINOR TELEVISION PERSONALITY (Hint: Go on television) AND NOW, the relatively pocket-sized and inexpensive paperback edition includes even more. MORE INFORMATION THAN YOU REQUIRE, updated to include the very latest in implausibility. PLUS!: This paperback edition includes a special self-expanding fold-out edition of THE TAXONOMY OF COMPLETE WORLD KNOWLEDGE, which you have probably never seen before because it has been carefully hidden. UNTIL NOW. Look out for John Hodgman's latest book, Vacationland, available from Viking in Fall 2017."

John Hodgman (Author), John Hodgman (Narrator)

Audiobook

The Areas of My Expertise: An Almanac of Complete World Knowledge Compiled with Instructive Annotati

"Hot on the heels of the #1 bestsellers The Onion's Our Dumb Century and Jon Stewart's America comes The Areas of My Expertise, the brilliant and uproarious #15 bestseller (i.e., a runaway phenomenon in its own right-no, seriously) - a lavish compendium of handy reference tables, fascinating trivia, and sage wisdom - all of it completely unresearched, completely undocumented and (presumably) completely untrue, fabricated by the illuminating, prodigious imagination of John Hodgman, certifiable genius."

John Hodgman (Author), John Hodgman (Narrator)

Audiobook

Audiobooks Narrated by John Hodgman