Audiobooks narrated by George Carlin

It's like having a wickedly witty uncle read twisted bedtime stories as comedian George Carlin performs personal picks from two very funny books. This uproarious collection includes three complete recordings, together for the first time: Grammy winners "Brain Droppings" and "Napalm & Silly Putty," plus "More Napalm & Silly Putty" 450 pp. 1-56511-916-9$59.95 / Highbridge Audio

George Carlin (Author), George Carlin (Narrator)

Audiobook

When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

On the heels of George Carlin's #1 New York Times bestseller Napalm & Silly Putty comes When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? --infused with Carlin's trademark irreverent humor and biting cultural observations. Here we go again . . . George Carlin's hilarious When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? offers his cutting-edge opinions and observational humor on everything from evasive euphemistic language to politicians to the media to dead people. Nothing and no one is safe! Despite the current climate of political correctness, Carlin is not afraid to take on controversial topics: Carlin on the media: The media comprises equal parts business, politics, advertising, public relations, and show business. Nice combination. Enough bull for Texas to open a chain of branch offices. Carlin on the battle of the sexes: Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. Carlin on hygiene: When did they pass a law that says the people who make my sandwich have to be wearing gloves? I'm not comfortable with this. I don't want glove residue all over my food; it's not sanitary. Who knows where these gloves have been? Carlin on evasive language: Just to demonstrate how far using euphemisms in language has gone, some psychologists are now actually referring to ugly people as those with "severe appearance deficits." Hey, Doctor. How's that for "denial"? Carlin on politics: No self-respecting politician would ever admit to working in the government. They prefer to think of themselves "serving the nation." To help visualize the service they provide the country, you may wish to picture the things that take place on a stud farm. The thinking person's comic who uses words as weapons, Carlin puts voice to issues that capture the modern imagination. For instance, why are there Ten Commandments? Are UFOs real? What will the future really be like? This brand-new collection tackles all that and more. In When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? Carlin's razor-sharp observations demolish everyday values and leave you laughing out loud--delivering exactly what his countless fans have been waiting for.

George Carlin (Author), George Carlin (Narrator)

Audiobook

Brain Droppings

Grammy Award Winner! In Brain Droppings, Carlin brings to audio his singular brand of comedic satire that has made him a favorite of stage, screen and cable audiences. Witty word play, spirited commentary, sarcasm, monologues and in-your-face insights about everyday values appear randomly, literally droppings from his fast and fresh intelligence. Carlin's challenging humor cuts through the superficial and smug assumptions behind our institutions, politics, race and social issues, exposing all as amusing fabrications. And unlike other comics who believe we've somehow misplaced the American dream, Carlin presents it as a great, but incredibly funny, myth. Brain Droppings was adapted for audio by Carlin himself and comes with the inimitable Carlin timing and delivery, making it clever, laugh-out-loud humor. With its erudite appeal, Brain Droppings is perfect for listeners looking for a quick shot of brainy merriment as well as long-time Carlin fans seeking a bigger dose of his entertaining take on life.

George Carlin (Author), George Carlin (Narrator)

Audiobook

More Napalm & Silly Putty

He's back! In a voice more cantankerous and comically pungent than ever, George Carlin spouts off on everything from British royalty ("A Day in the Life of Henry VIII") to auto racing ("Sports Should Be Fixed") to American politics ("Don't Blame the Leaders"). With his manic mind and motor mouth in high gear, he rants against anyone who tells him to "have a nice day" and skewers the euphemism epidemic ("To be honest, some of this language makes me want to vomit. Well, perhaps 'vomit' is too strong a word. It makes me want to engage in a involuntary personal protein spill"). When Carlin's in a more reflective mood, he reveals, "I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it," and ponders the really big questions, like "Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?" and "Griddle cakes, pancakes, hotcakes, flapjacks: why are there four names for grilled batter and only one word for love?" What his candid take on "life's little moments" lacks in political correctness, it more than makes up for in gut-busting laughs. He's the guy who dares say what the rest of us hesitate even to think. And he does so in ways that are often raunchy and always riotous.

George Carlin (Author), George Carlin (Narrator)

Audiobook

Napalm & Silly Putty

He's the inventor of Past-Tense TV (featuring "Got Smart," "Father Knew Best," and "It Was Left to Beaver"); the tireless crusader for such charities as the Center for Research into the Heebie Jeebies, Children of Parents with Bad Teeth, and the State Hospital for Those Who Felt All Right About a Year Ago; founder of the George Carlin Book Club (top titles: "How to Act Laid-Back During a Grease Fire," "Fill Your Life with Croutons," and "The Meaning of Corn"); and the only social commentator with the guts to point out that "the day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life." Yes, George Carlin is back with more of what he does better than any other comic today: uproarious observations, laser-targeted crankiness, linguistic legerdemain, and inspired weirdness. ("If the shoe fits, get another just like it." "When you sneeze, all the numbers in your head go up by one.") Napalm & Silly Putty is just what his fans have been waiting for--another generous helping of notions, nonsense, assertions, assumptions, mockery, merriment, silliness, sarcasm, and, to be sure, plenty of disturbing references and toxic alienation. George wouldn't have it any other way.

George Carlin (Author), George Carlin (Narrator)

Audiobook

Killer Carlin

George Carlin (Author), George Carlin (Narrator)

Audiobook

Audiobooks Narrated by George Carlin