Essays & Memoirs Audiobooks | Comedy

Midlife Bites: Anyone Else Falling Apart, Or Is It Just Me?

A smart, personal, darkly funny examination of what it's like to be a woman at the crossroads of a midlife crisis, from the New York Times bestselling author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat "I inhaled this book in one sitting; it's a must-read for anyone over forty. This should become the gift all girlfriends give one another."-Zibby Owens, host of the award-winning podcast Moms Don't Have Time to Read Books Jen Mann had what appeared to be the perfect life: a successful career as a bestselling author and award-winning blogger, a devoted husband, teenage kids who weren't total jerks, and a badass minivan. So imagine her surprise when, at forty-seven years old, a midlife crisis kicked her straight in the ladybits. Midlife Bites offers Jen's trademark wit and honesty when it comes to important conversations and observations about women in midlife. Here, readers will be able to come together and find anecdotes and practical ideas to help navigate through this major point in their lives. For women who may feel isolated or overlooked, this collection of original essays offers valuable insights, takeaways, and, most important, a productive way forward. Jen shares her own story as well as advice and wisdom from the online community she built, tackling everything that bites about midlife, where nothing is off-limits: raging hormones; sex (after forty); finding your purpose; learning to make new friends (yes, even as a grown-up); moving out of your comfort zone; having conversations that count, no more small talk; and how to deal with rogue chin hairs (and other nuisances). Jen Mann is leading the movement to create a new space where middle-aged women can share openly and honestly with one another. This no-BS collection of essays will help start the conversation and keep it going, because as women, we all have a right to be happy, fulfilled, and whole, no matter what stage of life.

Jen Mann (Author), Jen Mann (Narrator)

Audiobook

Resignation Trilogy: True Stories From a Fed-up Waiter

Three entertaining true stories reported by your intrepid food server from the front lines of the Great Resignation of 2021. Got a restaurant or other service business? Find out what not to do if you want to keep your current and future employees from leaving for greener pastures. It's not rocket science but has got a lot of you completely baffled, apparently. I'll give you a hint, the first rule is, don't be an a-hole.

J. Clark Allison (Author), J. Clark Allison (Narrator)

Audiobook

Stealing Baby Jesus: A Treasury of Ludicrous Attempts to Rescue Christmas

Inspired by her mother's attempts to create joyful traditions in tough times, and by Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol, Bernadette Nason has been forever striving to find the perfect Christmas, even though childhood memories haunt her. When she reads that her hometown of Winchester, UK, is vying for the coveted title of 'the Most Christmassy Town in Britain,' she's gobsmacked. Most Christmassy town? Snort! Not on your nelly! And, suddenly, the ghosts of Christmases past are back, and Nason is reflecting on the consequences of deep-rooted family rituals. Balancing humor and humanity, nostalgia and glee, with a bit of slapstick thrown in for good measure, Nason embarks on a compelling voyage—from 1960s Britain to strife-torn Libya, indulgent Dubai to present-day 'everything's bigger in' Texas—in search of an elusive Christmas she's not sure exists. In this stirring memoir, rich with offbeat adventures, she examines her pessimism, restores a cheerful attitude to the Holidays, and discovers there's more to 25th December than holly, mistletoe, and sherry. BERNADETTE NASON was born in Winchester, UK, and is an award-winning actor, voice-over artist, and professional storyteller. She worked for many years in London, fifteen months in Libya, and five years in Dubai. She currently resides in Austin, Texas, with her beloved ex-husband and some spoiled cats. www.bernadettenason.com.

Bernadette Nason (Author), Bernadette Nason (Narrator)

Audiobook

Diddly Squat: The No 1 Sunday Times bestseller

Brought to you by Penguin. Welcome to Jeremy's farm. It's an idyllic spot, offering picturesque views across the Cotswolds, bustling hedgerows, woodlands and natural springs. Jeremy always liked the idea being a farmer. But, while he was barrelling around the world having more fun with cars than was entirely reasonable, it seemed obvious that the actual, you know, farming was much better left to someone else Then one day he decided he would do the farming himself. After all, how hard could it be? Well . . . Faced with suffocating red tape, biblical weather, local objections, a global pandemic and his own frankly staggering ignorance of how to 'do farming', Jeremy soon realises that turning the farm around is going to take more than splashing out on a massive tractor. Fortunately, there's help at hand from a large and (mostly) willing team, including girlfriend Lisa, Kaleb the Tractor Driver, Cheerful Charlie, Ellen the Shepherd and Gerald, his Head of Security and Dry Stone Waller. Between them they enthusiastically cultivate crops, rear livestock and hens, keep bees, bottle spring water and open a farm shop. But profits remain elusive. And yet while the farm may be called Diddly Squat for good reason, Jeremy soon begins to understand that it's worth a whole lot more to him than pounds, shillings and pence . . . Praise for Clarkson's Farm: 'The best thing Clarkson's done . . . it pains me to say this' THE GUARDIAN; 'Shockingly hopeful' THE INDEPENDENT; 'Even the most committed Clarkson haters will find him likeable here' THE TELEGRAPH; 'Quite lovely' THE TIMES © Jeremy Clarkson 2021 (P) Penguin Audio 2021

Jeremy Clarkson (Author), Jeremy Clarkson (Narrator)

Audiobook

Please Scream Inside Your Heart: Breaking News and Nervous Breakdowns in the Year that Wouldn't End

From the publisher of the NextDraft newsletter comes a cathartic and humorous ride through the unnerving, maddening hellscape of the 2020 press cycle, reestablishing the line between "real" news and real life. Please lower your shoulder restraint and keep your hands and feet in. You're about to board a roller coaster ride through a year that was at once laughable and lethal. If you've got an anti-anxiety prescription, now would probably be a good time to call in a refill. Please Scream Inside Your Heart is a time capsule; a real-time ride through the maddening hell that was the 2020 news cycle-when historic turmoil and media mania stretched American sanity, democracy, and toilet paper. Who better to examine this unhinged period in all of its twists and turns than news addict Dave Pell, aka the internet's Managing Editor? Fueled by the wisdom and advice of his two Holocaust-surviving parents, for whom parts of this story were all too familiar, Pell puts the key stories of 2020 into context with pith and punch; highlighting turning points that widened America's divisions, deepened our obsession with a media-driven civil war, and nearly knocked the country off its tracks. Pell also examines the role of technology in society-and how we somehow built the exact opposite of what we thought we were building. Why did the lies spread faster than the truth? How did our tech addiction contribute to the nightmare? Why do you feel a vibration in your pocket right now? In 2020, the news was everywhere, and everything was political-even the air we breathed. So brace yourself as you're hurtled through the twists and turns of the corkscrewiest year in American history; one that included two impeachment trials, a global pandemic, Black Lives Matter, the biggest election of a lifetime, a slide towards autocracy, and a warning from the makers of Lysol not to drink their products.

Dave Pell (Author), Dave Pell, John Parsons, L.J. Ganser, Peter Coyote (Narrator)

Audiobook

Tiny Yellow Hat: Autobiographical Anecdotes Package In A Memoir

This wildly entertaining book is laced with wicked concepts, cheap shots, and a few bright ideas; a feast of funny words and clever notions without once mentioning vampires, aliens, or zombies. J. M. Chamberlain created the perfect blend of madcap rants and true-life experiences regarding his years on the road as a stand-up comedian, actor, and writer; a compilation of rapid-fire essays guaranteed to put a never-ending smile on your face. Actually, a never-ending smile might be cause for alarm; if your smile lasts longer than four hours, the author suggests phoning your family physician. In addition, J.M. Chamberlain gives the reader/listener insight into the day-to-day experiences that make our collective heads tilt like puppies unraveling high-pitched noises and howl at the moon. At the end of the day, J.M. Chamberlain has the uncanny ability to dissect the human condition and reassemble the parts into a creative, imaginative, and hilarious profile. Simply put, this extraordinary slice of life is almost too good to read; nevertheless, I suggest reading it anyway. I also suggest telling forty or fifty of your closest friends to read/listen to Tiny Yellow Hat. Why? Because, now more than ever, people need to laugh.

J Michael Chamberlain (Author), J Michael Chamberlain (Narrator)

Audiobook

Got Warrants?: Dispatches from the Dooryar

For the hundreds of thousands of followers of the Bangor, Maine, Police Department on social media, the 'Got Warrants?' feature brings a regular dose of levity. Pulled straight from daily reports, these short interludes provide a welcome spin on the standard police log. Collected here is a fresh batch of all-true police-related hijinks. Poking fun at human nature and turning ne'er-do-wells into sages of silliness, Got Warrants? reminds us all to step back, take a deep breath, and try not to take things so seriously.

Timothy A. Cotton (Author), Will Damron (Narrator)

Audiobook

How to Get Successful by F*cking Up Your Life: Digitally narrated using a synthesized voice

This recording has been digitally produced, by DeepZen Limited, using a synthesized version of an audiobook narrator’s voice under license. DeepZen uses Emotive Speech Technology to create digital narrations that offer a similar listening experience to human narration. Anna David was, in every way, groomed for success. She grew up in an affluent community and came from a family that prioritized SAT scores, Harvard attendance and high-paying jobs. The problem was, she had low SAT scores, was rejected by Harvard and spent her early life feeling like the family’s great disappointment. Concluding that success was not for her, Anna focused her energies on an area where she excelled: drugs, alcohol and general mayhem. Washing ashore on the beaches of recovery at the age of 30, she begrudgingly entered a world of sobriety. That’s when she discovered that there were all sorts of ways to define success—and what’s more, that it was never too late to find it. The stories in this collection document her journey from self-indulgent party girl to sober and only semi-indulgent woman. By turns hilarious and touching, disturbing and ridiculous, How to Get Successful by F*cking Up Your Life proves that you truly can f*ck up your way to the top.

Anna David (Author), Kellie Mitchell (female Synthesized Voice) (Narrator)

Audiobook

My Naked Spa in Japan: Fear, Relationship and A Breakthrough

A Slipper Battle About ten months ago, a middle-aged woman complained to me about my slippers at the communal spa of my apartment building. She wanted me to take them off and stay barefoot in the locker room because everyone except for me was barefooted there as a custom. I refused as being barefoot wasn't an official rule and I felt much more comfortable and more hygienic with slippers on. I was kind enough to explain to her that wearing slippers was more hygienic on the public floor than barefoot. It's totally logical, but she didn't accept anyway because her point was to keep up the custom. I've kept wearing my slippers in the locker room everyday to this day even though sometimes there were other middle-aged women who grumbled to me or darted an angry look at me. Three months after I got the first complaint, I saw a woman wearing slippers in the locker room and I was no longer the only one that wasn't barefooted. Then, since last month, a mother and her child have been wearing slippers. As I predicted, people began to imitate me and adopt my way. And the other day, this slipper battle developed a new twist. I entered the locker room with my slippers on as usual, and there was a woman who had gotten out of the spa and been putting on her clothes. She was putting on her socks when I walked past her. Thinking I found the third example of non-barefoot, I said hello to her with a smile as I usually did. She turned to me and our eyes met. I was astounded. It was none other than that middle-aged woman who told me to be barefoot here ten months ago. She herself was wearing socks! She looked startled to see me and her face got filled with embarrassment at once. She returned hello to me in a faint voice. She lost her battle.

Hidemi Woods (Author), Hidemi Woods (Narrator)

Audiobook

I Take My Coffee Black: Reflections on Tupac, Musical Theater, Faith, and Being Black in America

As a 6'2" dreadlocked black man, Tyler Merritt knows what it feels like to be stereotyped as threatening, which can have dangerous consequences. But he also knows that proximity to people who are different from ourselves can be a cure for racism. Tyler Merritt's video "Before You Call the Cops" has been viewed millions of times. He's appeared on Jimmy Kimmel and Sports Illustrated and has been profiled in the New York Times. The viral video's main point-the more you know someone, the more empathy, understanding, and compassion you have for that person-is the springboard for this book. By sharing his highs and exposing his lows, Tyler welcomes us into his world in order to help bridge the divides that seem to grow wider every day. In I Take My Coffee Black, Tyler tells hilarious stories from his own life as a black man in America. He talks about growing up in a multi-cultural community and realizing that he wasn't always welcome, how he quit sports for musical theater (that's where the girls were) to how Jesus barged in uninvited and changed his life forever (it all started with a Triple F.A.T. Goose jacket) to how he ended up at a small Bible college in Santa Cruz because he thought they had a great theater program (they didn't). Throughout his stories, he also seamlessly weaves in lessons about privilege, the legacy of lynching and sharecropping and why you don't cross black mamas. He teaches readers about the history of encoded racism that still undergirds our society today. By turns witty, insightful, touching, and laugh-out-loud funny, I Take My Coffee Black paints a portrait of black manhood in America and enlightens, illuminates, and entertains-ultimately building the kind of empathy that might just be the antidote against the racial injustice in our society.

Tyler Merritt (Author), James Iglehart, Jerrie Elaine Merritt, Jimmy Kimmel, Milton Merrit, Tyler Merritt (Narrator)

Audiobook

I Strongly Believe in Incredible Things: A creative journey through the everyday wonders of our worl

A selection of the world’s most incredible things according to award-winning writer, comedian, artist and podcaster Rob Auton I Strongly Believe In Incredible Things is a book of poetic prose, musings, short stories and biro drawings detailing a selection of the Earth’s incredible things by award-winning writer, comedian, artist and podcaster Rob Auton. Unique, enchanting and utterly life affirming, this is a collection of pages that come together to create the opposite of the news, becoming the tonic for the complicated gin that is the world we find ourselves in today: a humorous and heartfelt book that is the ying to the yang that is politics ;a book of breathing space that gives oxygen to rediscovering the beauty of living on earth with the aim of fuelling people to return to the coal-face of everyday life with optimism and wonder in their pockets. Inhaling all we have in common, exhaling all we don’t. From bubble wrap to Killer Whales; frog spawn to empathy, hand-dryers to parents, I Strongly Believe in Incredible Things wants to take you on a journey back to the incredible planet we live on.

Rob Auton (Author), Rob Auton (Narrator)

Audiobook

Black Nerd Problems: Essays

*A Book Riot Most Anticipated Nonfiction Book of 2021* The creators of the popular website Black Nerd Problems bring their witty and unflinching insight to this engaging collection of pop culture essays on everything from Mario Kart and The Wire to issues of representation and police brutality across media. When William Evans and Omar Holmon founded Black Nerd Problems, they had no idea whether anyone beyond their small circle of friends would be interested in their little corner of the internet. But soon after launching, they were surprised to find out that there was a wide community of people who hungered for fresh perspectives on all things nerdy, from the perspective of #OwnedVoices. In the years since, Evans and Holmon have built a large, dedicated fanbase eager for their brand of cultural critique, whether in the form of a laugh-out-loud, raucous Game of Thrones episode recap or an eloquent essay on dealing with grief through stand-up comedy. Now, they are ready to take the next step with this vibrant and hilarious essay collection, which covers everything from X-Men to Breonna Taylor with insight and intelligence. A much needed and fresh pop culture critique from the perspective of people of color, Black Nerd Problems is the ultimate celebration for anyone who loves a blend of social commentary and all things nerdy.

Omar Holmon, William Evans (Author), Omar Holmon, William Evans (Narrator)

Audiobook

Essays & Memoirs Audiobooks in Comedy