Essays & Memoirs Audiobooks | Comedy

God Save the Sweet Potato Queens Audiobook

Hallelujah! The Sweet Potato Queens are back!In 1999, Jill Conner Browne, royal boss of Jackson, Mississippi's own glorious Sweet Potato Queens, introduced them to the world in the hilarious bestseller The Sweet Potato Queen's Book of Love (which contained everything you ever need to know about Love, Life, Men, Marriage, and the importance of Being Prepared). But, fortunately for us, that was not the final chapter in the Queens' splendid saga. The Sweet Potato Queens still have plenty of stuff to say and valuable wisdom to impart about how they went from being Cute Girls to Fabulous Women, including:Dating for the Advanced, or AdvancingThe Joys of Marriage -- if you mustMore Delicious, Death-Defying Recipes The Promise for Men -- six little words that will make any woman Lolling About -- the official activity of the Sweet Potato QueensAnd, of course, The All-True Story of the Two Most Wonderful Men in the WorldNot to mention: Reader Mail -- honoring the adventures of brand-new Wannabes and Honorary Queens from around the worldIf you haven't met the Sweet Potato Queens yet, this is the introduction you've been waiting for. If you already know the joys of Queendom, this is your official welcome-back party. From the Trade Paperback edition.

Jill Conner Browne (Author), Jill Conner Browne (Narrator)

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More Napalm & Silly Putty

He's back! In a voice more cantankerous and comically pungent than ever, George Carlin spouts off on everything from British royalty ("A Day in the Life of Henry VIII") to auto racing ("Sports Should Be Fixed") to American politics ("Don't Blame the Leaders"). With his manic mind and motor mouth in high gear, he rants against anyone who tells him to "have a nice day" and skewers the euphemism epidemic ("To be honest, some of this language makes me want to vomit. Well, perhaps 'vomit' is too strong a word. It makes me want to engage in a involuntary personal protein spill"). When Carlin's in a more reflective mood, he reveals, "I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it," and ponders the really big questions, like "Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?" and "Griddle cakes, pancakes, hotcakes, flapjacks: why are there four names for grilled batter and only one word for love?" What his candid take on "life's little moments" lacks in political correctness, it more than makes up for in gut-busting laughs. He's the guy who dares say what the rest of us hesitate even to think. And he does so in ways that are often raunchy and always riotous.

George Carlin (Author), George Carlin (Narrator)

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Oh, the Things I Know: A Guide to Success, Or, Failing That, Happiness

He's taken on political satire and skewered self-help. Now Al Franken turns the world of earnest, inspirational self-help books on its head. More advanced than Robert Fulghum, more fit than Maria Shriver's husband, Oh, the Things I Know! is Franken's commencement address for the 21st century. A cradle-to-grave guide for living, it takes young grads from their first job ("Oh, Are You Going to Hate Your First Job!"), through their twenties and thirties ("Oh, the person of Your Dreams vs. the Person You Can Actually Attract!"), into marriage and parenthood ("Oh, Just Looking at Your Spouse Will Make Your Skin Crawl!") and all the way up to senior citizenship ("Oh the Nursing Home You'll Wind Up In!"). What does a mega success like Al Franken have to say to ordinary people? "There's no point in getting advice from hopeless failures." Filled with wit, wisdom, observations, and practical tips, this is an easy-to-follow user's manual for human existence. Why travel life's highway all by your lonesome when you can bring Al Franken along?"

Al Franken (Author), Al Franken (Narrator)

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Fierce Pajamas: An Anthology of Humor Writing from The New Yorker

When Harold Ross founded The New Yorker in 1925, he described it as a "comic weekly." And although it has become much more than that, it has remained true in its irreverent heart to the founder's description, publishing the most illustrious literary humorists of the modern era-among them Robert Benchley, Dorothy Parker, Groucho Marx, George S. Kaufman, James Thurber, S. J. Perelman, Peter De Vries, Mike Nichols, Marshall Brickman, Woody Allen, Donald Barthelme, Calvin Trillin, George W. S. Trow, Veronica Geng, Garrison Keillor, Ian Frazier, Roy Blount, Jr., Bruce McCall, Steve Martin, Christopher Buckley, and Paul Rudnick. This anthology gathers together, for the first time, the funniest work of more than seventy New Yorker contributors. Parodists take on not only writers like Hemingway and Kerouac, but TV documentaries, Italian cinema, and etiquette books. (Enough have been published, Robert Benchley maintains, "that there should be no danger of toppling over forward into the wrong soup, or getting into arguments as to which elbow belongs on which arm.") Other pieces offer perspectives on the heights of fame, the depths of social embarrassment, and the ups and downs of love and sex. Such well-loved sketches as Thurber's "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty" take their place alongside light-hearted essays on food, tennis, and taxis, and flights of fancy that follow an apparently simple premise to the point of no return, and sometimes well beyond. Here you will find large insights (Woody Allen: "Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage") and hard-earned wisdom (Ian Frazier on dating your mom: "Here is a grown, experienced, loving woman-one you do not have to go to a party or a singles bar to meet, one you do not have to go to great lengths to know"). And, not least, a great deal of helpful advice, including Steve Martin's on memory and middle age: "Bored? Here's a way the over-fifty set can easily kill a good half hour: 1. Place your car keys in your right hand. 2. With your left hand, call a friend and confirm a lunch or dinner date. 3. Hang up the phone. 4. Now look for your car keys." A rich selection of humorous verse includes caustic gems by Dorothy Parker, the effortless whimsy of Phyllis McGinley, and Ogden Nash's unforgettable slapstick prosody, as well as forays by luminaries who ought to have known better, like Robert Graves, Elizabeth Bishop, and W. H. Auden. A wonderful gift for others, or a delightful treat for oneself, Fierce Pajamas is a treasury of laughter from a publication described by Auden as "the best comic magazine in existence."

David Remnick, Henry Finder (Author), Chris Gannon, Patrick Frederic (Narrator)

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Fraud

You’ve heard him on This American Life! Now read his book! Wherever he is, David Rakoff is a fish out of water. Whether impersonating Sigmund Freud in a department store window during the holidays, climbing an icy mountain in cheap loafers, playing an evil modeling agent on a daytime soap opera, or learning primitive survival skills in the wilds of New Jersey, Rakoff doesn’t belong. Nor does he try to. Still, he continually finds himself off in the far-flung hinterlands of our culture, notebook or microphone in hand, hoping to conjure that dyed-in-the-wool New York condescension. And Rakoff tries to be nasty; heaven knows nothing succeeds like the cheap sneer, but he can’t quite help noticing that these are actual human beings he’s writing about. In his attempts not to pull any punches, the most damaging blows, more often than not, land squarely on his own jaw–hilariously satirizing the writer, not the subject. And therein lies David Rakoff’s genius and his burgeoning appeal. The wry and the heartfelt join in his prose to resurrect that most neglected of literary virtues: wit. Read the blurbs again on the back. They signal the arrival of a brilliant new American essayist. (Okay, Canadian.)

David Rakoff (Author), David Rakoff (Narrator)

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The Grasshopper Trap

Often compared to Garrison Keillor and Mark Twain, Patrick F. McManus maintains just the right balance between baffled innocence and conspiratorial confidence. Since 1979, this humorist has been delighting readers with hilarious stories recounting his childhood in rural Idaho and relating his misadventures in the great outdoors. Whether you're a sportsman or a couch potato, he will have you laughing out loud at his escapades. In this collection of 30 tall tales, McManus introduces you to the perils of Trailer Trials and Mean Tents. Like Hemingway, McManus hunts the big fish in Down and Way Out in Brazil. The title tale, The Grasshopper Trap, unveils an ingenious invention for catching fish bait in motion. And in Hunting Camp Etiquette, McManus becomes a rustic Miss Manners. Narrator Norman Dietz adds additional spice to each impish line. You won't want to miss the other audio productions of McManus' works, including Never Sniff a Gift Fish and The Night the Bear Ate Goombaw.

Patrick F. McManus (Author), Norman Dietz (Narrator)

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The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank

Erma Bombeck's humorous insights about family life always tickle readers' funny bones. Her New York Times best-sellers have sold millions of copies to gleeful readers around the world. In The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank, Bombeck joins the station wagon train to the suburbs. In new lands like the Suburbian Gems subdivision, settlers from the city brave endless cul-de-sacs and overly helpful insurance salesmen. Picture windows bring new meaning to the term 'neighborly'. A poorly timed trip to the restroom results in a promotion to Girl Scout Cookie Captain. And brave parents fight epic battles to get sex out of the schools and back into the gutters. With Barbara Rosenblat's perfect comic timing, the author of If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries--What Am I Doing in the Pits? (RB# 96171) and A Marriage Made in Heaven, or Too Tired for an Affair (RB# 94790) adds to her reputation as America's favorite funny lady.

Erma Bombeck (Author), Barbara Rosenblat (Narrator)

Audiobook

Napalm & Silly Putty

He's the inventor of Past-Tense TV (featuring "Got Smart," "Father Knew Best," and "It Was Left to Beaver"); the tireless crusader for such charities as the Center for Research into the Heebie Jeebies, Children of Parents with Bad Teeth, and the State Hospital for Those Who Felt All Right About a Year Ago; founder of the George Carlin Book Club (top titles: "How to Act Laid-Back During a Grease Fire," "Fill Your Life with Croutons," and "The Meaning of Corn"); and the only social commentator with the guts to point out that "the day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life." Yes, George Carlin is back with more of what he does better than any other comic today: uproarious observations, laser-targeted crankiness, linguistic legerdemain, and inspired weirdness. ("If the shoe fits, get another just like it." "When you sneeze, all the numbers in your head go up by one.") Napalm & Silly Putty is just what his fans have been waiting for--another generous helping of notions, nonsense, assertions, assumptions, mockery, merriment, silliness, sarcasm, and, to be sure, plenty of disturbing references and toxic alienation. George wouldn't have it any other way.

George Carlin (Author), George Carlin (Narrator)

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Real Ponies Don't Go Oink

You don't have to be a hunter or camper to enjoy this collection of hilarious stories by a writer who is often compared to Mark Twain and Garrison Keillor. In fact, the charm of Patrick F. McManus' work is that it provides plenty of reasons for staying indoors, surrounded by friendly appliances. You'll laugh aloud as McManus and his friends, including Rancid and Crazy Eddie, venture into the great outdoors to face formidable foes like truck campers, tackle boxes, and boat engines. Digging into his vast knapsack of anecdotes, McManus offers them as guides for the bumpier trails of life. Although his stories are wacky, McManus never resorts to profanity or crudity, even when he is considering Teenagers from Hell or Strange Meets Matilda Jean. Narrator Norman Dietz perfectly captures the baffled lunacy that characterizes these reminiscences and quests for the sportsman's perfect moment.

Patrick F. McManus (Author), Norman Dietz (Narrator)

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Just Wait Till You Have Children of Your Own

If you're young, old, or in the middle, get ready to laugh out loud with Erma Bombeck, America's funniest lady. This outrageously witty book proves that humor is the best way to keep on keel-even with a teenager in the house. You've finally figured out what makes your child tick, when one day you wake up to discover a teenager under your roof. Suddenly life is filled with a whole new set of worries: Why isn't she dating? Why is she dating? Why can't he can't pass his driving test. Why is he out so late with the car? Wise in the ways of teenagers, Erma Bombeck celebrates both the joys and difficulties of watching children grow into adults. Barbara Rosenblat provides the perfect voice for energetic young people and their baffled parents.

Erma Bombeck (Author), Barbara Rosenblat (Narrator)

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Natural Blonde: A Memoir

From Tallulah Bankhead to Joan Crawford to the Kennedys and Madonna, the ultimate insider, Liz Smith has hobnobbed, air-kissed, and lunched with just about everybody who's been anybody over the last half-century--and then rushed to tell the world all about it. Now, in this candid, down-to-earth autobiography, she tells all about herself, and does it with the kind of style and warmth that has made her one of the most widely read columnists in history. Liz Smith wasn't always famous, and in Natural Blonde she revals how a young woman from rural Texas came to New York hell-bent on making something of her life. From her salad days as a small-time reporter and proofreader to her triumphs at the Daily News, Newsday, New York Post and her 1995 Emmy for reporting, Liz tells what it is really like to be seen and heard by millions of people every day. One of the most quoted people of our time, she offers a rare, private peek into the real person behind the witty quips and media coverage. Certainly one of the most eagerly anticipated autobiographies in years, Natural Blonde will give Liz Smith readers the item they've been waiting for--the ultimate inside scoop from the "Grande Dame of Dish."

Liz Smith (Author), Liz Smith (Narrator)

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Sinbad's Guide to Life

A hilarious guide to life from a man who has "lived large and fallen hard–lost every job I ever had, messed up everybody I’ve ever dated, been kicked out of every institution I’ve ever been in"–and still survived; offering observations on courage ("Lots of guys brag they’d fight off anything to save their woman. Yeah, right–there is no sense in both us dying"), discipline ("If you’ve got to get whupped, your father is the man. Mothers don’t stop until you’re bleeding to death"), money ("Before computers, checks were great…local ones took fourteen days to clear"), men and women ("If there were no women in the world, men would be naked, driving trucks, living in dirt"), underwear ("Women, do not buy your men bikini underpants"), love ("If you can get a car with no money down, you can get a boyfriend or girlfriend"), marriage ("There is no compromise, you either go to the basketball game or you go to a movie you hate"), divorce ("there are no Betty Ford clinics for strung-out lovers. You have to go cold turkey"), dieting ("I would be hanging out at McDonald’s, tapping on the window: ‘Don’t throw out those fries!’"), parenting ("When they caught Jeffrey Dahmer, his mom was protective: ‘He always had a healthy appetite…’"), technology, and much more.

Sinbad (Author), Sinbad (Narrator)

Audiobook

Essays & Memoirs Audiobooks in Comedy