Essays & Memoirs Audiobooks | Comedy

Jim Belushi is a national celebrity who has starred in numerous movies as well as the current hit TV show airing on ABC, According to Jim. His "guy's guy" take on things has led to a huge following among both men and women who can't get enough of Jim and his irrepressible take on life. Now he's sharing his unique perspective with a hilarious new book about dating, marriage, and sex that is sure to hit home with every red-blooded American male, and the women who love them. Any guy will relate to Belushi's advice from the school of hard knocks, such as the Big Toe Theory, about how women encroach on a man's territory, and how to avoid the Pearl Harbor Phenomenon, when women attack without provocation. Belushi has strong opinions on how real men should act, and he relates his ideas with the trademark irreverent humor that has made him famous. Including sex definitions; a quiz to see if you're really ready to get married; tips on how to pick up women; and Jim's list of Critical Things About Men that Can't Be Found in Woody Allen Movies - this is the book that every guy needs in these turbulent, trying times.

Jim Belushi (Author), Jim Belushi (Narrator)

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I Shouldn't Even Be Doing This: And Other Things That Strike Me as Funny

The first book ever from an icon of American comedy--a hilarious combination of stories from his career and observations about life That stammer. Those basset-hound eyes. That bone-dry wit. There has never been another comedian like Bob Newhart. His comedy albums, movies, and two hit television series have made him a national treasure and placed him firmly in the pantheon of comedy legends. Who else has a drinking game named after him And now, at last, Newhart puts his brilliant and hysterical world view on paper. Never a punch-line comic, always more of a storyteller, he tells anecdotes from throughout his life and career, including his beginnings as an accountant and the groundbreaking success of his comedy albums and The Bob Newhart Show and Newhart , which gave him fifteen years on primetime television. And he also gives his wry, comedic twist to a multitude of topics, including golf, drinking, and family holidays. Today, Newhart appears on Desperate Housewives , in hit movies such as Elf , and in theaters around the country. Reruns of his shows air constantly on Nick at Nite--have recently been released with great success for the first time ever on DVD. With this book, Bob Newhart gives his millions of fans a first ever opportunity to sample his unique brand of humor--including excerpts from some of his classic routines--on the printed page.

Bob Newhart (Author), Bob Newhart, Hyperion Assorted Authors, Hyperion Assorted S, Various Narrators (Narrator)

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Microthrills

Raised in Manhattan by her overly protective, sex therapist mother who wore "seven layers of shoulder pads" and her two doting grandparents, life in Wendy Spero's world has never been dull. As a child, she passed the time organizing impromptu "garage sales" on city sidewalks, sniffing fruit-scented magic markers to intoxication, parenting dozens of high-maintenance stuffed animals, and seeking out other "microthrills", which she writes about in this hilarious book of odd but true stories. Life got increasingly more interesting for Wendy as she grew up and embarked on a stint of door-to-door knife-selling before taking an office day job, where she developed an abnormally close, paternal relationship with her big-time executive boss, which involved as much pot smoking as it did mentoring. (Wendy, in turn, sprinkled glitter in his expense reports and placed gold stars on his paychecks.) Now, as a budding young comedian living in L.A., Wendy grapples with such "grown-up" issues as trying to kick her addiction of eating candy in bed and finally learning how to drive.

Wendy Spero (Author), Wendy Spero (Narrator)

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The Areas of My Expertise

John Hodgman (Author), John Hodgman (Narrator)

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Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex

Did the mega-bestselling Why Do Men Have Nipples? exhaust your curiosity about stuff odd, icky, kinky, noxious, libidinous, or just plain embarrassing? "No," you say? Well good, because the doctor and his able-bodied buddy are IN! Again! Now go-to authorities for that sort of thing, Mark Leyner and Billy Goldberg, M.D., take on the differences between the sexes—those burning questions like, "Why Doesn't My Husband Ever Listen?" or "Why Does My Wife ALWAYS Have to Pee?" and of course, "Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex?" plus plenty of others to keep you fully informed. Full of smart and snarky answers to an onslaught of new questions, all in the do-ask-we'll-tell spirit, that entertain and teach you something at the same time, Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex? offers the real lowdown on all the myriad of the things that everyone wants to know about all things anatomical, medical, sexual, nutritional, animal, mineral, but would only ask a physician after a few too many. Bigger, funnier, and better than ever, Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex? proves that in the battle of the sexes, as in most things, a little Q&A is a safe, effective, minimally invasive remedy.

Billy Goldberg, Mark Leyner (Author), Mark Leyner (Narrator)

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How to Lose Friends and Alienate People

In 1995 high-flying British journalist Toby Young left London for New York to become a contributing editor at Vanity Fair. Other Brits had taken Manhattan - Alistair Cooke then, Anna Wintour now - so why couldn't he? But things didn't go quite according to plan. Within the space of two years he was fired from Vanity Fair, banned from the most fashionable bar in the city, and couldn't get a date for love or money. Even the local AA group wanted nothing to do with him. How to Lose Friends and Alienate People is Toby Young's hilarious account of the five years he spent looking for love in all the wrong places and steadily working his way down the New York food chain, from glossy magazine editor to crash-test dummy for interactive sex toys. But it's more than "the longest self-deprecating joke since the complete works of Woody Allen" (Sunday Times); it's also a seditious attack on the culture of celebrity from inside the belly of the beast. And there's even a happy ending as Toby Young marries - "for proper non-cynical reasons," as he puts it - the woman of his dreams. "Some people are lucky enough to stumble across the right path straight away; most of us only discover what the right one is by going down the wrong one first."

Toby Young (Author), Toby Young (Narrator)

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F.U.B.A.R.: America's Right-Wing Nightmare

The United States has survived clueless presidential administrations before. But no matter how enormous the crisis -- the Great Depression, Vietnam, Watergate, Monica Lewinsky's thong -- America's always come out looking like, well, America. This time, however, something's different. Things aren't just screwed up; they're f&#!d up beyond all recognition. Welcome to F.U.B.A.R., a hilariously scathing satirical rundown of the Radical Right's takeover of America, by the creators of Air America's Majority Report. If you're a liberal who's somehow not panicked over the state of our union, or if you're a Republican who's just having voter's remorse, or if you think what's happening to the country is just politics as usual, F.U.B.A.R. will open your eyes to our current national nightmare. With completely unfair and unbalanced analysis, authors Sam Seder and Stephen Sherrill take readers on a whirlwind tour of what's left of the United States, exposing the truth about the Right's blueprint for total domination -- over your money, your mind, your sex life, and even your place in the afterlife (yes, they have a plan for that, too). Finally, Seder and Sherrill offer a helpful and hopeful vision for a future that remarkably doesn't look like a cross between the Matrix and Mayberry. F.U.B.A.R. is the wake-up call America has been waiting to receive -- and it will probably be wiretapped.

Sam Seder, Stephen Sherrill (Author), Sam Seder (Narrator)

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100 Bullshit Jobs...And How to Get Them

The scholarly discipline of Bullshit Studies has blossomed in the last several years, fertilized by a number of critical works on the subject and the growing importance of the issue. Now, bestselling author and lifelong practitioner Stanley Bing enters the field with a comprehensive look at the many attractive jobs now available to those who are serious about their bullshit and prepared to dedicate their working life to it. Across the globe, skillful bullshit artists have secured pleasant, lucrative employment, and are enjoying themselves more than you are. In virtually every occupation, from Advertising to Yoga Franchising, lucky individuals who "work" in these coveted positions enjoy the best lives imaginable -- they are paid well, they rarely break a sweat, and their professions are highly respected, because nobody really knows what they do. At once funny, useful, and tolerably philosophical, this groundbreaking work takes a close look at 100 bullshit jobs, which will provide the neophyte with inspiration. Most crucially, Bing goes on to offer a clear, concise strategy to help job-seekers reach for that brass ring, knowing full well that it may be attached to the nose of a bull.

Stanley Bing (Author), Gil Schwartz (Narrator)

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Me Talk Pretty One Day

A new collection from David Sedaris is cause for jubilation. His recent move to Paris has inspired hilarious pieces, including Me Talk Pretty One Day, about his attempts to learn French. His family is another inspiration. You Cant Kill the Rooster is a portrait of his brother who talks incessant hip-hop slang to his bewildered father. And no one hones a finer fury in response to such modern annoyances as restaurant meals presented in ludicrous towers and cashiers with 6-inch fingernails. Compared by The New Yorker to Twain and Hawthorne, Sedaris has become one of our best-loved authors. Sedaris is an amazing reader whose appearances draw hundreds, and his performancesincluding a jaw-dropping impression of Billie Holiday singing I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weinerare unforgettable. Sedariss essays on living in Paris are some of the funniest hes ever written. At last, someone even meaner than the French! The sort of blithely sophisticated, loopy humour that might have resulted if Dorothy Parker and James Thurber had had a love child. Entertainment Weekly on Barrel Fever Sidesplitting Not one of the essays in this new collection failed to crack me up; frequently I was helpless. The New York Times Book Review on Naked

David Sedaris (Author), David Sedaris (Narrator)

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Dave Barry's Money Secrets

Did you ever wish that you really understood money? Well, Dave Barry wishes that he did, too. But that hasn't stopped him from writing a book about how to understand money. In it, Dave explores (as only he can) such topics as: Â· How the U.S. economy works, including the often-overlooked role of Adam Sandler. Â· Why it is not a good idea to use squirrels for money. Â· Strategies that will give you the confidence you need to try for a good job, even though you are, let's be honest, a no-talent loser. Â· Why corporate executives, simply by walking into their offices, immediately become much stupider. Â· An absolutely foolproof system for making money in the stock market, requiring only a little effort (and access to time travel). Â· Surefire tips for buying and selling real estate, the key one being: Never buy, or for that matter sell, real estate. Â· How to minimize your federal taxes, safely and legally, by cheating. Â· Why good colleges cost so much, and how to make sure your child does not get into one. Â· How to reduce the cost of your medical care by basically not getting any. Â· Estate planning, especially the often-overlooked financial benefits of early death. But that's only the beginning! Dave has also included in this book all of the important points in a book written by Donald Trump, so you don't have to read it yourself. Plus he explains how to tip; how to negotiate for everything, including bridge tolls; how to argue with your spouse about money; and how much allowance to give your children (three dollars is plenty). He also presents, for the first time in print anywhere, the Car Dealership Code of Ethics ("Ethic Seven: The customer is an idiot"). Also there are many gratuitous references to Angelina Jolie naked. You can't afford NOT to buy this book! Probably you need several.

Dave Barry (Author), Dick Hill (Narrator)

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Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow

Over one hundred years since it was first published ‘Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow’ addresses subjects which are still relevant today – perhaps more so! Being hard up, being in the blues and being in love are just some aspects of the human condition on which Jerome K. Jerome reflects in his unique whimsical fashion. These insights are not given for the benefit of our education however, for as he says in his introduction, “This book would not elevate a cow. I cannot consciously recommend it for any useful purpose whatsoever. All I can suggest is, that when you get tired of reading ‘the best hundred books’ you may take this up for half an hour. It will be a change!”

Jerome K. Jerome (Author), Peter Joyce (Narrator)

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Talk to the Hand: The Utter Bloody Rudeness of the World Today, or Six Good Reasons to Stay Home

Lynne Truss (Author), Lynne Truss (Narrator)

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Essays & Memoirs Audiobooks in Comedy