Essays & Memoirs Audiobooks | Comedy

One of pop cultures great enduring unsung heroes: Gary DellAbate, Howard Stern Show producer, miracle worker, professional good sport, and servant to the King of All Media, for the first time tells the story of his early years and reveals how his chaotic childhood and early obsessions prepared him for life at the center of the greatest show on earth. Baba Booey! Baba Booey! It was a slip of the tongue - that unfortunately was heard by a few million listeners - but in that split second a nickname, a persona, a rallying cry, and a phenomenon was born. Some would say it was the moment Gary DellAbate, the long-suffering heroic producer of The Howard Stern Show, for better or worse, finally came into his own. In They Call Me Baba Booey, DellAbate explains how his early life was the perfect training ground for the day-to-day chaos that comes with producing the most popular radio show on earth. Growing up on Long Island in the 1970s, the youngest of three boys born to a clinically depressed mother, Gary learned how to fend for himself when under attack. Obsessed with music, he listened with religious intensity to Casey Kasem's Top 40 every Sunday morning, compulsively bought 45s of his favorite songs, and nerdily copied the lyrics into a notebook. Music became an ordering principle to his life, even as the chaos at home got out of hand. DellAbates memoir sketches the trajectory from the obsessive pop-music trivia buff to the man in the beekeepers mask who handily defeats his opponents playing "Stump the Booey." We learn about the memorable moments in his life that taught him to endure epic bouts of humiliation and get his unique perspective on some of his favorite Stern show episodes - such as the day he nearly killed the Mets mascot while throwing out the first pitch, or the time his mother called Howards mother and demanded an apology. Hilarious, painful, and eye-opening, its Gary as youve never seen him before, telling a story that even Stern show insiders cant begin to imagine.From the Hardcover edition.

Chad Millman, Gary Dell Abate, Gary Dell'abate (Author), Gary Dell Abate, Gary Dell'abate (Narrator)

Audiobook

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks

A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, 'You've got to be kidding me, son.' The bartender replied, 'New policy. Everyone has to show their ID.' Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II. It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back. In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past-Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire. ADAM CAROLLAis a radio and television host, comedian, and actor. He is the host of the Adam Carolla Podcast, before which he hosted a weekday morning radio program broadcast from Los Angeles, and syndicated by CBS Radio. Besides these shows, Carolla is well known as the co-host of the radio show Loveline (and its television incarnation on MTV), as the co-creator and co-host of Comedy Central's The Man Show, and as the co-creator and the performer on Comedy Central and MTV's Crank Yankers and is a frequent contributor and contestant on ABC's top-rated program 'Dancing with the Stars'. Carolla also starred in, co-wrote, and co-produced the award-winning independent film, The Hammer. He currently lives in Los Angeles with his wife and their two children. From the Hardcover edition.

Adam Carolla (Author), Adam Carolla (Narrator)

Audiobook

I Remember Nothing

Nora Ephron returns with her first audiobook since the astounding success of I Feel Bad About My Neck, taking a cool, hard, hilarious look at the past, the present, and the future, bemoaning the vicissitudes of modern life, and recalling with her signature clarity and wisdom everything she hasn't (yet) forgotten. Ephron writes about falling hard for a way of life (Journalism: A Love Story) and about breaking up even harder with the men in her life (The D Word); lists Twenty-five Things People Have a Shocking Capacity to Be Surprised by Over and Over Again (There is no explaining the stock market but people try; Cary Grant was Jewish; Men cheat); reveals the alarming evolution, a decade after she wrote and directed You've Got Mail, of her relationship with her in-box (The Six Stages of E-Mail); and asks the age-old question, which came first, the chicken soup or the cold? All the while, she gives candid, edgy voice to everything women who have reached a certain age have been thinking . . . but rarely acknowledging. Filled with insights and observations that instantly ring true and could have come only from Nora Ephron I Remember Nothing is pure joy.

Nora Ephron (Author), Nora Ephron (Narrator)

Audiobook

I'm Dreaming of a Black Christmas

Lewis Black (Author), Lewis Black (Narrator)

Audiobook

Life and Laughing: My Story

Laugh out loud with this unabridged, downloadable audiobook edition of Michael McIntyre's brilliantly funny and honest account of his life so far, Life and Laughing: My Story, read by the comedian himself. Michael McIntyre has become Britain's biggest comedy star. His debut stand-up DVD, Live & Laughing, was the fastest selling of all time, only to be eclipsed by his second, Hello Wembley, that sold over 1.4 million copies and was the 2009 Christmas number one. He hosts his own BAFTA nominated BBC1 series, Michael McIntyre's Comedy Roadshow, and won the British Comedy Award for Best Live Stand-up in 2009 following his record breaking fifty-four date Arena tour. But how did he get there? Michael reveals all and gives a hilarious performance in this audio edition of his remarkably honest autobiography. His showbiz roots, his appalling attempts to attract the opposite sex, his fish-out-of-water move from public to state school and his astonishing journey from selling just one ticket at the Edinburgh Festival to selling half a million tickets on his last tour. Michael's story is riveting, poignant, romantic and above all very, very funny.

Michael McIntyre (Author), Michael McIntyre (Narrator)

Audiobook

Half Empty

The inimitably witty David Rakoff, New York Times bestselling author of Don't Get Too Comfortable, defends the commonsensical notion that you should always assume the worst, because you'll never be disappointed. In this deeply funny (and, no kidding, wise and poignant) book, Rakoff examines the realities of our sunny, gosh- everyone-can-be-a-star contemporary culture and finds that, pretty much as a universal rule, the best is not yet to come, adversity will triumph, justice will not be served, and your dreams won't come true. The book ranges from the personal to the universal, combining stories from Rakoff's reporting and accounts of his own experi-ences: the moment when being a tiny child no longer meant adults found him charming but instead meant other children found him a fun target; the perfect late evening in Manhattan when he was young and the city seemed to brim with such pos-sibility that the street shimmered in the moonlight—as he drew closer he realized the streets actually flickered with rats in a feeding frenzy. He also weaves in his usual brand Oscar Wilde–worthy cultural criticism (the tragedy of Hollywood's Walk of Fame, for instance). Whether he's lacerating the musical Rent for its cutesy depic-tion of AIDS or dealing with personal tragedy, his sharp obser-vations and humorist's flair for the absurd will have you positively reveling in the power of negativity.

David Rakoff (Author), David Rakoff (Narrator)

Audiobook

True Prep

Wake up, Muffy. We're back. From Lisa Birnbach, the author of The Official Preppy Handbook and designer Chip Kidd comes a whole new take on the prep world that Birnbach turned into an international best-selling phenomenon thirty years ago. True Prep is a contemporary look at how the old guard of natural-fiber-loving, dog-worshipping, G&T-soaked preppies adapt to the new order of things. Birnbach considers the prep attitude towards money (ambivalent), schools (good investment), wardrobe (now your clothes fit), work (some careers will never be prep), decorating (ask mummy), scandal (including rehab and prison), and food and drink (with some classic recipes for both). She also looks at weekends (and what to do to get asked back), entertaining, sports (including sailing and shopping), weddings, etiquette, the Internet and electronic gadgetry, political correctness, reality TV, and . . . polar fleece. And last but not least: a do-it-yourself eulogy. With more than 200 original illustrations and photographs, True Prep promises to be a whole new, old sensation. From the Hardcover edition.

Chip Kidd, Lisa Birnbach (Author), Lisa Birnbach (Narrator)

Audiobook

Don't Vote - It Just Encourages the Bastards

Red State. Blue State. Republicans. Democrats. Bailout. Stimulus. Health Care Reform. Blah blah blah. Has there ever been a moment where politics have sucked any more? Don't Vote - It Just Encourages the Bastards is a brilliant, disturbing, hilarious, and ultimately sobering look at why politics and politicians are a necessary evil - but only just barely necessary. P. J. presents his Sex, Death, and Boredom Theory of Politics, which breaks the social contract down to power, freedom, and responsibility by using a party game, Kill, F@#k, Marry, more typically found in late-night giggle sessions at all-girls boarding schools. With this tripartite lens of politics, O'Rourke looks at the financial crisis ("The best investment I've made lately? I left a $20 bill in the pocket of my tweed jacket last spring, and I just found it"), the bailout, health care reform ("Something doesn't add up. Politicians are telling me that I can smoke, drink, gain two hundred pounds, then win an iron man triathlon at age ninety-five"), the stimulus package, climate change ("There's not a god-damn thing you can do about it . . . There are 1.3 billion people in China and they all want a Buick"), trade imbalance, the end of the American automobile industry, U.S. foreign policy and the Family of Nations ("Uncle Russia's out on parole, drunk, unemployed, and likely to kill some folks next door again soon"), campaign finance reform, gun control, No Child Left Behind ("What if they deserve to be left behind?"), and pretty much everything else under the sun. His findings: Put the country's big, fat political ass on a diet. Lose that drooping deficit. Slim those spreading entitlement programs. Firm up that flabby pair of butt cheeks, which are the Senate and the House. Listen to P. J. O'Rourke on the pathetic nature of politics and laugh through your tears or - what the hell - just laugh.

P.J. O'Rourke (Author), Christopher Lane (Narrator)

Audiobook

NPR More Funniest Driveway Moments: Radio Stories that Won't Let You Go

Most NPR listeners have experienced at least one “driveway moment”: You’re so captivated by a story, interview, or essay you’re hearing on the radio that you sit in your driveway, motor running, to hear it all the way through. Even if the ice cream is melting in the trunk. The latest collection of this best-selling series features memorable tales, bits, and commentary from NPR favorites, regulars, and guests. Smartly chosen, sincerely hilarious, this collection will leave you in stitches. Contents: Joan Rivers: Outrageous and Outspoken as Ever Harry Shearer: ‘Now You See It’ Harry Shearer: Sammy the Flame-Resistant Salmon Comedy Writing: How To Be Funny The (Wacky) World According to John Hodgman At Climate Conference, Hot Air Reigns Dave Barry’s Science Fair Tricks Brian Williams on Wait Wait . . . Don’t Tell Me! Snoring Does Not Get in the Way of Love Kevin Kling Returns Carol Burnett, Still Glad For ‘This Time Together’ Tim Conway Delivers Laughs Without an Apology Mehlman’s Famous Actors Tour of Los Angeles A Rejection Letter Template What’s America’s Funniest Joke? Robert Earl Keen Plays “Not My Job” Bob and Ray, Masters of the Subtle Spoof Powerball Dreams Jane Lynch, TV’s New Queen of Mean Wedding Season Can Be Trying My Child, the Prodigy—and Other Punch Lines Advice for New Fathers Tom Bodett: You’ve Been Warned

NPR (Author), Robert Krulwich (Narrator)

Audiobook

Assholes Finish First

What do you do after you write a #1 bestselling book about your drunken, sexual misadventures that makes you rich and famous? Celebrate by getting more drunk and having insane amounts of sex, obviously. And pretty soon you've got another fucking book on your hands. Stuffed full of ridiculous stories of bad decisions, debauchery, and sexual recklessness, Assholes Finish First starts where I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell left off, then proceeds to "some next-level shit." You already know how women react to confidence, game, and vodka, but what happens when you add money and fame to the mix? You get answers to the hard questions you've never thought of asking: • What's it like to have sex with a midget? What about two midgets? • How does it feel to get multiple requests to "fuck for charity"? • What does it do to a man to watch a 19-year-old do wind sprints to sober up, so that she can have sex with you before her twin sister does? • At what number of virgins does deflowering them stop being fun and start feeling like a job? • When a girl you met three hours ago decides to tattoo your name next to her pussy, what is the appropriate reaction? • Can you X-ray a blowjob? The answers are inside, they are absurd and hilarious, and they are the product of one man's experiences: His name is Tucker Max, and he is still an asshole.

Tucker Max (Author), Tucker Max (Narrator)

Audiobook

The Fry Chronicles

The unabridged, downloadable audiobook edition of the hugely successful The Fry Chronicles, brilliantly read by Stephen Fry himself. Thirteen years ago, Moab is my Washpot, Stephen Fry's autobiography of his early years, was published to rave reviews and was a huge bestseller. In those thirteen years since, Stephen Fry has moved into a completely new stratosphere, both as a public figure, and a private man. Now he is not just a multi-award-winning comedian and actor, but also an author, director and presenter. In January 2010, he was awarded the Special Recognition Award at the National Television Awards. Much loved by the public and his peers, Stephen Fry is one of the most influential cultural forces in the country. This dazzling memoir promises to be a courageously frank, honest and poignant read. It will detail some of the most turbulent and least well known years of his life with a reading that will excite you, make you laugh uproariously, move you, inform you and, above all, surprise you.

Stephen Fry (Author), Stephen Fry (Narrator)

Audiobook

The Real Me is Thin

The hapless and hilarious tale of a life lived under the constant and ruthless reign of a chocolate biscuit... Lumped into 'the too fat for potatoes group' by her mother, carefree eating isn't something Arabella Weir had much experience of growing up. Written with startling frankness, Arabella unravels her own eating history in this humorous appraisal of our attitudes towards eating disorders and obesity. Not easy for someone who still can't be alone unsupervised in a room with a packet of chocolate biscuits. Charting Arabella's neurotic relationship with food, from prolonged abstinence to binge eating, this humorous memoir recreates a childhood besieged with battles over food. Subjected to her mother's capricious feeding regime and taught early on that food was her enemy, happiness meant being allowed to eat what she liked - or more importantly what everyone else was eating. Recounting stories of unhinged mothers and callous doctors, mystery-meat suppers, and egg custard battles with calculating boyfriends' mothers, this candid memoir vividly recreates a childhood and adolescence marred by the social embarrassment of being marked as different simply due to your weight.

Arabella Weir (Author), Arabella Weir (Narrator)

Audiobook

Essays & Memoirs Audiobooks in Comedy