Essays & Memoirs Audiobooks | Comedy

An Anthology Of Humorous Stories Audiobook

A glittering collection of humorous stories by classic authors. 'The Tremendous Adventures of Major Brown' by G.K. Chesterton 'The Talking Horse' by Thomas Anstey Guthrie 'The Seventh Pullet' by Saki 'Biffin on the Bassoon' by Harry Graham 'The Scharz-Metterklume Method' by Saki 'The Chaplet' by Saki 'The Facts' by Ring Lardner 'A Dissertation Upon Roasted Pig' by Charles Lamb 'Fur' by Saki 'The Lumber Room' by Saki'

Various Authors (Author), Cathy Dobson (Narrator)

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Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me (And Other Concerns)

Mindy Kaling has lived many lives: the obedient child of immigrant professionals, a timid chubster afraid of her own bike, a Ben Affleck-impersonating Off-Broadway performer and playwright, and, finally, a comedy writer and actress prone to starting fights with her friends and coworkers with the sentence "Can I just say one last thing about this, and then I swear I'll shut up about it?" Perhaps you want to know what Mindy thinks makes a great best friend (someone who will fill your prescription in the middle of the night), or what makes a great guy (one who is aware of all elderly people in any room at any time and acts accordingly), or what is the perfect amount of fame (so famous you can never get convicted of murder in a court of law), or how to maintain a trim figure (you will not find that information in these pages). If so, you've come to the right book, mostly! In Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?, Mindy invites readers on a tour of her life and her unscientific observations on romance, friendship, and Hollywood, with several conveniently placed stopping points for you to run errands and make phone calls. Mindy Kaling really is just a Girl Next Door-not so much literally anywhere in the continental United States, but definitely if you live in India or Sri Lanka.

Mindy Kaling (Author), B. J. Novak, Brenda Withers, Michael Schur, Mindy Kaling (Narrator)

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The Last Testament: A Memoir by God

Over the course of his long and distinguished career, god has literally seen it all. And not just seen. In fact, the multi-talented deity has played a pivotal role in many major events, including the Creation of the universe, the entirety of world history, the life of every human being who has ever lived, and the successful transitioning of American Idol into the post'Simon Cowell era. Now, as the earth he has godded so magnificently draws to a Mayan-induced close, God breaks his 1,400-year literary silence with his final masterpiece, The Last Testament. As dictated to his mortal amanuensis, 11-time Emmy Award'winning comedy writer David Javerbaum, God looks back with unprecedented candor on his time in the public sector. He takes us behind the scenes of Genesis, setting the record (un)straight on the real first couple, Adam and Steve, and challenging long-held notions about the viability of containing a phylogenetically complete double bestiary within a 450,000-cubic-cubit watercraft. For the first time, he breaks his silence on Jesus Christ, shedding light on a father-son relationship as heartwarming as Will and Jaden Smith's. And he reveals his true feelings about his third great faith, Islam, WHICH ARE NOTHING BUT POSITIVE AND RESPECTFUL. But The Last Testament doesn't just look back. It also offers God's perspectives on the perennial quagmires of love, marriage, and smiting. And he takes an 27.99 unfiltered look at contemporary society, addressing such hot-button topics as: ' Why he loves America ' What he listens for in a good prayer ' Which sports teams he really roots for ' Which celebrities are totally gay Sometimes preachy, sometimes holier-than-thou, but always lively, The Last Testament is a tale of courage, adversity, and triumph. It's the ultimate celebrity autobiography, sure to appeal to not only hardcore God fans and 'worshipers,' but to anyone who's ever had total omnipotence. If you place complete faith in the literal truth of one book written by God, make it The Last Testament.

David Javerbaum, God (Author), David Javerbaum (Narrator)

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The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody but Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass

From best-selling author and host of HBO's Real Time, Bill Maher's new book of political riffs serves up a savagely funny set of rules for preserving sanity in an insane world. A follow-up to the New York Times best-selling New Rules, The New New Rules delivers a series of hilarious, intelligent rants on everything from same-sex marriage to health care, from Republican agendas to celebrity meltdowns, with all the razor-sharp insight that has made Bill Maher one of the most influential comedic voices shaping the political debate today. With another presidential campaign on the horizon and a stellar set of real-life characters to have fun with - "New Rule: If Charlie Sheen's home life means he can't have a TV show, then I say Newt Gingrich can't be president" - this enlightening and important book may be the best thing you pretend to read all year.

Bill Maher (Author), Bill Maher (Narrator)

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Suburgatory: Twisted Tales from Darkest Suburbia

Suburgatory lampoons the absurdities and contradictions that Linda Erin Keenan has witnessed since leaving New York City, where she was a thoroughly urban CNN news producer for seven years, and settling down as a hapless stay-at-home suburban mother. The original proposal for this book was picked by Warner Brothers in 2010, and you can see their imagining of Suburgatory on the ABC show of the same name. Keenan was forced by the man in her life to leave her beloved New York City for a supposed suburban utopia. Instead she found herself trapped in a place where conformity is king and where she often felt like she had been taken hostage by an adult Girl Scout troop. So Keenan decided to train her twisted reporter's eye on the strange inhabitants of this new foreign land. Thought of as a local town newspaper or Web site, Suburgatory includes "news stories" (Mom Plans School Auction During Dreary Sex) that go after the tiger moms, breastfeeding nazis, frustrated swingers, crypto-racists, barely-there dads, and power-mad principals. In addition to the irreverent news stories, Suburgatory features faux op-ed "Shout Outs" (Let's Do that Key Party Right the Next Time), witty advertisements (Briarcliff Academy-Educating the Stupid Rich Since 1903), and an over-the-top totally toxic advice columnist: Dr. Drama.

Linda Erin Keenan (Author), Cassandra Campbell (Narrator)

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You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again

You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again is the laugh-out-loud story of an attractive Los Angeles woman who found herself in the predicament of being an unwilling virgin. As an actress, writer, and stand-up comedienne, Heather McDonald passed up ample opportunities to have her V-card revoked by handsome, rich, and sometimes even fabulously famous men, but she could not bring herself to do "it" until well after her friends had been deflowered. As Chelsea Handler so lovingly puts it, "Thank God, Heather waited twenty-seven years to lose her virginity or she wouldn't have any material for this book." Whether in a backseat, a community pool, or a sports stadium, with a frat boy, a doctor, or an A-list celebrity, Heather McDonald knew how to turn those boys blue. Unlike "putting out," blue balling might not have paid her rent or landed her free trips to Hawaii, but it did provide her with hilarious stories and adventures in her search for true love - and, ultimately, her very own happy ending. Now, Heather McDonald will never blue ball in this town again. "The only thing funnier than Heather's impersonation of us is . . . this book!" -Kim, Kourtney, & Khloe Kardashian

Heather McDonald (Author), Heather McDonald (Narrator)

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Seriously...I'm Kidding

I've experienced a whole lot the last few years and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I'm saying is, let us begin, shall we?

Ellen Degeneres (Author), Ellen Degeneres (Narrator)

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Small Man in a Book

Rob Brydon - star of Gavin and Stacey, Steve Coogan's partner in The Trip, and one of Britain's favourite comedians - tells the funny and frank story of his slow ascent to fame and fortune in Small Man in a Book. A multi-award-winning actor, writer, comedian and presenter known for his warmth, humour and inspired impressions, Rob Brydon has quickly become one of our very favourite entertainers. But there was a time when it looked like all we'd hear of Rob was his gifted voice. Growing up in South Wales, Rob had a passion for radio and soon the Welsh airwaves resounded to his hearty burr. However, these were followed by years of misadventure and struggle, before, in the TV series Marion and Geoff and Gavin and Stacey, Rob at last tickled the nation's funny bone. The rest, as they say, is history. Or in his case autobiography. Small Man in a Book is a funny, heartfelt, honest, sometimes sad, but mainly funny, memoir of how a young man from Wales very, very slowly became an overnight success.

Rob Brydon (Author), Rob Brydon (Narrator)

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Work! Consume! Die!

Brace yourself, Frankie's back, and he's more outspoken and brilliantly inappropriate than ever.There are fears that this year could see the start of a double-dip recession, or worse still a double-dip-with-misery-sprinkles and f**k-where's-my-job?-sauce. Why not chuckle into the howling void as taloned fingers reach up to consume you with Frankie Boyle's new book, Work! Consume! Die!In Work! Consume! Die! stand-up comedy's favourite pessimist, Frankie Boyle, offers his outrageous, laugh-out-loud, cynical rant on life as he knows it. He describes your reality as viewed through a bloodshot eye pressed against a shit-smeared telescope, focused on hell: 'Charlie Sheen's life consists of going on huge drug benders with groups of porn stars. If he straightened himself out he could have a really mediocre career as a bit-part Hollywood actor. Playing the role of Martin Sheen's corpse. He's crazy like a fox! And also actually crazy. What a tragic waste, not being Charlie Sheen is. How majestic it will be for him to die, possibly quite soon, knowing that when they make a movie of his life, it will be a porno.' 'The X Factor will be allowed to show product placements. That's powerful advertising. Last series I realised that looking at the judges alone had made me subconsciously buy a gnome, a scrag-end of mutton, a vacuous mannequin and a suspected gay.' 'The Taliban are running out of bullets. Operation 'Get our troops to absorb them with their bodies' is finally paying off. The Taliban are finding it impossible to get hold of essential supplies - at last we're fighting on equal terms. But let's not get complacent. Just because they're running out of bullets we mustn't assume our boys won't get shot. Remember, the US troops have still got plenty.'A no-holds-barred tour de force of comic writing, Work! Consume! Die! is Frankie Boyle at his brutal, taboo-busting best. This is nothing more or less than the clanging call to arms of a dying mechanical God.

Frankie Boyle (Author), Angus King (Narrator)

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My Shit Life So Far

Ever since being brought up by The Beatles, Frankie Boyle has been a tremendous liar. Join him on his adventures with his chum Clangy The Brass Boy and laugh as he doesn't accidentally kill a student nurse when a party gets out of hand.I don't think anyone can have written an autobiography without at some point thinking 'Why would anyone want to know this shit?' I've always read them thinking 'I don't want to know where Steve Tyler grew up, just tell me how many groupies he f**ked!''So begins Frankie's outrageous, laugh-out loud, cynical rant on life as he knows it. From growing up in Pollockshaws, Glasgow ('it was an aching cement void, a slap in the face to Childhood, and for the family it was a step up'), to his rampant teenage sex drive ('in those days if you glimpsed a nipple on T.V. it was like porn Christmas'), and first job working in a mental hospital ('where most evenings were spent persuading an old man in his pants not to eat a family sized block of cheese'), nothing is out of bounds.Outspoken, outrageous and brilliantly inappropriate, Frankie Boyle, the dark heart of Mock the Week, says the unsayable as only he can. From the TV programmes he would like to see made ('Celebrities On Acid On Ice: just like Celebrity Dancing On Ice, but with an opening sequence where Graham Norton hoses the celebrities down with liquid LSD'), to his native Scotland and the Mayor of London ('voting for Boris Johnson wasn't that different to voting for a Labrador wearing a Wonder Woman costume'), nothing and no one is safe from Frankie's fearless, sharp-tongued assault.Sharply observed and full of taboo-busting, we-really-shouldn't-be-laughing-at-this humour, My Shit Life So Far shows why Frankie Boyle really is the blackest man in show business.

Frankie Boyle (Author), Angus King (Narrator)

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The Necessary Aptitude: A Memoir

NEXT, I APPLIED TO WORK IN THE ACCOUNTS DEPARTMENT, a sealed room where women operated clattering machines like enormous typewriters. After I had catastrophically and erroneously applied all the wrong information to several trolley loads of documents and lumbered the staff with weeks of corrective work, I was shown the door by a tight-lipped manageress. I knew what was coming. Over the relentless, furious din of machinery, I lip-read the familiar words: 'Lacks the necessary aptitude. ''Pam Ayres' early childhood in Stanford in the Vale was idyllic in many ways, and typical of that experienced by a great swathe of children born in rural areas in the immediate post-war years. Though her parents' generation was harrowed by war, better times were coming. Everything the family needed was within walking distance in the village, and life with four older brothers and a sister in their crowded council house was exceedingly lively. In her late teens, Pam grew dissatisfied with her life as a Civil Service clerk with only the local 'hop' for scintillating excitement. Having seen three of her brothers called up for National Service and sent off to exciting destinations, Pam felt desperate for travel and adventure. She joined the WRAF and soon found herself in the Far East. There she began to write in earnest, and develop the unique talent that would make her one of Britain's favourite comics. . . Written with Pam's much-loved combination of humour and poignancy, The Necessary Aptitude is a beautifully written memoir of her early years.

Pam Ayres (Author), Pam Ayres (Narrator)

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Things I Couldn't Tell My Mother: My Autobiography

There was a lot that we kept from my mother. My dad would say to me as a teenager 'Don't tell your mother. ' We couldn't face the disapproval. 'Sue Johnston always seemed to be disappointing her mother. As a girl she never stayed clean and tidy like her cousins. As she grew older, she spent all her piano lesson money on drinks for her mates down the pub, and when she discovered The Cavern she was never at home. The final straw was when Sue left her steady job at a St Helen's factory to try her hand at that unsteadiest of jobs: acting. Yet when Sue was bringing up her own child alone, her mother was always there to help. And playing her much-loved characters Sheila Grant and Barbara Royle - although her mum wouldn't say she was proud as such, she certainly seemed to approve. And in her mother's final months, it was Sue she needed by her side. The relationship with your mother is perhaps the most precious and fraught of any woman's life. When she began writing, Sue set out to record 'all the big things, and all the small things. Everything I wanted to tell my mother but felt I never could'. The result is a warm, poignant and often very funny memoir by one of Britain's favourite actresses.

Sue Johnston (Author), Sue Johnston (Narrator)

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Essays & Memoirs Audiobooks in Comedy