Audiobooks by Whitney Dineen

Motherhood Martyrdom & Costco Runs Audiobook

Join USA Today bestselling romantic comedy author, Whitney Dineen, as she discovers the three E's of parenting: - Exhilarating-when you first discover you're pregnant. - Exhausting-when you realize you'll most likely never sleep again-like ever. - Explosive-OMG these kids spew from both ends! And that's just the beginning. Whitney shares the ridiculous highs and excruciating lows of her catapult into motherhood. Enjoy the ride as this new mom vows to give up profanity while falling in love with... you guessed it, Costco. Be careful, because if you're anything like Whitney, you may just pee a little. Motherhood Martyrdom & Costco Runs takes the listener on a roller coaster of emotions as Whitney plummets into postpartum depression, desperately tries to get her kids to stop yodeling in public restrooms, and comes to terms with the fact she'll never quite be queen of her own kingdom. Get ready to laugh, cry, cheer, and pat yourself on the back for the sake of mommies everywhere. And while you're at it, stop by Costco for a case of toilet paper and a Very Berry Sundae. You won't regret it!

Whitney Dineen (Author), Lila Winters (Narrator)

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Ain't She Sweet

Tara Heinz began her modeling career at the tender age of twelve. After spending fifteen years drooling over forbidden foods, she does the unthinkable. She enrolls in culinary school and becomes a pastry chef. After a nasty breakup with her rock star boyfriend that leads to tabloid war, Tara takes a job at a rural lodge in Oregon to escape the spotlight she no longer desires. James Cavanaugh is a farmer in Oregon. His days are spent building his business and his nights are spent sleeping, so he can get up at four in the morning. Ruby Cavanaugh has plans for her son that involve her new pastry chef. Of course, neither James nor Tara know what's going on until it's too late.

Whitney Dineen (Author), Devon Sorvari, Wayne Mitchell (Narrator)

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It's My Party

High off her success of playing matchmaker for both of her sons, lodge owner Ruby Cavanaugh decides to try her hand pairing other eligible singles-starting with her executive chef and her new event coordinator. Party planner Claire Choate has a cheating boyfriend who also happens to be her boss. After visiting Oregon for her brother's wedding-which didn't even happen-Claire is offered a job that gets her out of LA for good. How can she pass up an opportunity like that? Even though he has little time for a social life, executive chef Geoffrey Bere loves his job. After a past complication left him gun shy about workplace entanglements, he lives by a strict, 'no dating co-workers' policy. But when Claire Choate arrives on the scene, he finds himself ready to break his own rule.

Whitney Dineen (Author), Devon Sorvari, Wayne Mitchell (Narrator)

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Love is a Battlefield

Who doesn't want their mom to play Cupid? Addison Cooper had planned on an all-expense paid vacation to the Cayman Islands to celebrate her most recent business success. Instead, she's trekking to the outback of Oregon to help a friend of her mother's. Reclusive novelist Brogan Cavanaugh's new thriller just hit the New York Times Best Seller list. To reward himself, he was planning to spend the summer at his family's fishing cabin until his mom unexpectedly calls in a favor. Even though moms Libby and Ruby have been best friends since they were college roommates, Addison and Brogan have barely spent time in each other's company. And when they did, things didn't go well. How will they react when they start to suspect their interfering mothers are setting them up?

Whitney Dineen (Author), Devon Sorvari, Wayne Mitchell (Narrator)

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Text in Show: It's a Dog Text Dog World...

Autumn Jones is at a crossroads. With no job offers in sight, she can either return to Koshkonong, Wisconsin to work at her dad's feed store or she can move to New York and help her older sister Helen coordinate the Manhattan Kennel Club Show. She and Helen may fight like cats and dogs, but Autumn would rather live with a thousand Helens than go home after seven years of college. Jack Campbell is the veterinarian to Manhattan's elite. Despite their adoration, he does not love them back. In fact, he's vowed never to date anyone who walks through the front door of his clinic. He spends his days caring for pampered poodles sporting diamond encrusted collars and placating their high maintenance owners. When he meets Autumn, he assumes she's going to be another client with more money than brains. Autumn is thrown into a bizarre world of highly competitive rich women who will do anything to win the coveted title of Best in Show at Manhattan's most exclusive competition. With her haughty sister breathing down her neck, and a high-strung poodle following her everywhere she goes, she doesn't have time for love, even if she does find herself face-to-face with America's hottest vet every day.

Melanie Summers, Whitney Dineen (Author), Alexander Cendese, Avery Reid (Narrator)

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Mistle Text: 'Twas the Text Before Christmas…

I'm Holly Snow and I'm in desperate need of a miracle. I've been raising my five-year-old niece, Faith, since she was a baby. As much as I love her, I was twenty-three when my sister died. There was no way I was ready to be a single mom. A few months ago, I managed to get Faith a partial scholarship to a ritzy preschool for gifted children. I've been struggling to make tuition payments ever since. The bottom line is that I need to make more money. At this point, I'll take any job that allows me to look after Faith while I work-as it doesn't involve anything weird or illegal. So, when my bestie, Toni, tells me her tall, dark, and Scroogy boss needs a personal shopper to take care of all his Christmas needs, I leap at the opportunity. When I say yes, I have no idea Mr. Incredible will also end up needing a fake girlfriend. Apparently, he's got to prove to his family that he's the marrying type or they won't be turning over the keys to their investment brokerage to him come January. I should definitely say no, but I'd be crazy not to take the obscene amount of money he's throwing my way. (Besides, who wouldn't want to live in the lap of luxury in a Newport mansion for a few days?) As a bonus, Faith and I get completely new wardrobes so we can fit in. Now, I just have to promise myself not to fall in love with him.

Melanie Summers, Whitney Dineen (Author), Alexander Cendese, Avery Reid (Narrator)

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Text Wars: May the Text be With You...

I'm Serafina Lopez, and I'm an astrologer. No, not the airy-fairy type who wears long flowy skirts and enormous hoop earrings-you know, unless I want to. I'm an uber-serious businesswoman. My popular lifestyle app, 'Live for you Star Sign,' is getting so big, I've just been asked to be a guest on New York's most-watched morning show. This TV segment is going to launch my career into the stratosphere. Imagine my surprise when I show up on set to find out that I'm not the only guest. They've also invited astrophysicist Ben Williams from NASA. (I'm not sure if you know this, but astrologers and rocket scientists aren't exactly sympatico.) It's 100% hate at first sight (with maybe a tiny dose of lust thrown in.) Too bad he's a total jerk who slings insults at my career. Our explosive chemistry sets records for the network's viewing audience, which means we're asked to host a weekly segment . . . together. Unable to turn down the career opportunity of a lifetime, I agree to work with Dr. Grumpy McGorgeous Nerd Pants. Just when I think it can't get any worse, the network sends us to Florida for a conference. When we arrive, we find out we'll be stuck sharing the same hotel room. And that's when it happens. Somewhere in the haze of hating him, I wind up wanting him. But there's no way I can fall for someone who doesn't respect my beliefs.

Melanie Summers, Whitney Dineen (Author), Alexander Cendese, Avery Reid (Narrator)

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The Text God: Text and You Shall Receive...

Jen Flanders here. Just another starving artist in New York City. I walk dogs for money, practice yoga for sanity, and hit up my friends at a local bakery to supplement my diet. Unfortunately, rent is due and I'm running out of cash. After begging the universe for a sign that help is on the way, my phone pings with a text. GOD: You can do it; I believe in you! Wait?! GOD is texting me? I know it sounds crazy, but I'm so desperate, I'm willing to believe just about anything right now. So, I ask him for help. On the first day of texting, he gets me a job that will keep me afloat. On the second day, he hooks me up with a killer wardrobe. And on the third, he agrees to meet me at a pub to discuss my future. Only, it turns out GOD isn't a deity, but a divinely handsome lawyer named Gabriel Oliver Daily, who thinks he's been helping out his friend's little sister. He's the man of my dreams, but it's never going to happen between us because I'm a whack-a-doodle who thinks she's been texting the Lord himself, and, I don't know how to explain that to him. Plus, he's got a serious girlfriend, and they're perfect for each other. Although, I'm learning things aren't always as they appear . . .

Melanie Summers, Whitney Dineen (Author), Alexander Cendese, Avery Reid (Narrator)

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Text Me on Tuesday: All is Fair in Love and Texting...

When Aimee Tompkins loaded up her old catering van and pulled into Manhattan, she had her sights set on becoming one of the best (and most lucrative) caterers to ever serve crudites and creampuffs in the Big Apple. But after a year of leaving fliers all over town, she's not only running out of money, she's running low on hope. So when she lands a gig at a big architecture firm, Aimee's certain her luck is about to change. Noel Fitzwilliam is pitching the most important project of his life-the type of project architects dream of. Everything has to go right, so when he finds the new caterer naked in his office bathroom right before the meeting, he's torn between being thrilled and being extremely irritated. He doesn't have time for romance, no matter how incredible she looks without her clothes on. A mix-up means Aimee is accidentally given his cell number instead of his assistant's. So when she starts texting Noel about how much she hates him, he decides to have a little fun with her. The last thing he expects is for her to turn his world upside-down. But that's exactly what happens as the pair start sharing their deepest secrets and their greatest fears, and Noel discovers he can share so much more via text than he can in person. But what will happen when she finds out who he really is?

Melanie Summers, Whitney Dineen (Author), Alexander Cendese, Avery Reid (Narrator)

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The Plan

Bead shop owner Amelia Frothingham has been keeping a secret from everyone she knows. She pretends to be the ultimate carefree bohemian chick, but the truth is, she's the world's biggest control freak. Much to the delight of her Southern family, Amelia's life appears to be smooth sailing. That is, until bad boy rockstar Huck Wiley mysteriously blows into town like a spring tornado. Like every other woman under eighty with a pulse, Amelia's intrigued. So when Huck starts showing up in her shop with flirtation in mind, she finds herself getting sucked into the rock god vortex. But her previous attempts at long-distance love have always ended on a sour note, so Amelia has vowed never to repeat the experience. What Amelia doesn't know is that Huck has a secret of his own, and he has no intention of returning to Los Angeles before he's good and ready. Will Huck stay in town, scattering the beads Amelia has finally gotten sorted? Or will he head back to his glamorous life and take her last chance at spontaneity and love along with him?

Whitney Dineen (Author), Tiffany Morgan (Narrator)

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The Dream

Ashley has loved the same boy since high school. She knew Davis Frothingham was special even before he championed her at her senior prom. She also knew he was completely out of her league. Years later, her attraction for him is still there, but Davis? He doesn't even remember her. When Ashley is tasked with being the nurse for Davis's terminally ill grandmother, she's thrown back into his world. More than anything, she wants him to remember her, but that recollection could come at a price of its own. Can Ashley accept that she's good enough for Davis? And can Davis learn to love a girl from the wrong side of the tracks?

Whitney Dineen (Author), Tiffany Morgan (Narrator)

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The Move

When Lexi Blake was twelve years old, a fortune teller gave her the following cryptic message: In your thirtieth year, once the dog jumps over you, your life will change in the most unexpected ways. Lexi is thirty now and the following unexpected things have occurred: - While walking through Central Park enjoying a beautiful fall day, Lexi eats dirt when a careless dog owner throws a frisbee at her head. A dog jumps over her. - Lexi gets a promotion that pays less than her current job. - Her crush announces that he's engaged. - Her apartment turns condo and she can't afford the down payment. In order to escape her bad luck, she takes a vacation to visit a good friend in Creek Water, Missouri. But as it turns out, fate has a lot more in store for Lexi Blake.

Whitney Dineen (Author), Tiffany Morgan (Narrator)

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