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Welcome to the United States of Anxiety: Observations from a Reforming Neurotic
A Wall Street Journal bestseller. New York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster is here to help you chill the hell out. When did USA become shorthand for the United States of Anxiety? From the moment Americans wake up, we’re bombarded with all-new terrifying news about crime, the environment, politics, and stroke-inducing foods we’ve been enjoying for years. We’re judged by social media’s faceless masses, pressured into maintaining a Pinterest-perfect home, and expected to base our self-worth on retweets, faves, likes, and followers. Our collective FOMO, and the disparity between the ideal and reality, is leading us to spend more and feel worse. No wonder we’re getting twitchy. Save for an Independence Day–style alien invasion, how do we begin to escape from the stressors that make up our days? Jen Lancaster is here to take a hard look at our elevating anxieties, and with self-deprecating wit and levelheaded wisdom, she charts a path out of the quagmire that keeps us frightened of the future and ashamed of our imperfectly perfect human lives. Take a deep breath, and her advice, and you just might get through a holiday dinner without wanting to disown your uncle.
Jen Lancaster (Author), Jen Lancaster (Narrator)
Audiobook
Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder. As she details the chaos that will surely ensue if she has to learn to operate one more television remote control, you'll want to settle in and pour yourself a tall one. Because what's more fun than hearing a friend share her favorite stories?
Jen Lancaster (Author), Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher (Narrator)
Audiobook
How could we know that forever could end at seventeen?' Anyone passing through North Shore, Illinois, would think it was the most picture-perfect place ever, with all the lakefront mansions and manicured hedges and iron gates. No one talks about the fact that the brilliant, talented kids in town have a terrible history of throwing themselves in front of commuter trains. Meet Simone, the bohemian transfer student from London, who is thrust into the strange new reality of an American high school; Mallory, the hypercompetitive queen bee; and Stephen, the first-generation genius who struggles with crippling self-doubt. Each one is shocked when a popular classmate takes his own life except not too shocked. It's happened before. With so many students facing their own demons, can they find a way to save each other as well as themselves?
Jen Lancaster (Author), Andrew Eiden, Andrew Eiden, Arielle DeLisle, Emily Woo Zeller, Julia Whelan, Kirby Heyborne, Michael Goldstrum (Narrator)
Audiobook
The New York Times bestselling author of The Best of Enemies serves up a hilarious new novel of the "sandwich generation." Actuary Penny Sinclair has a head for business, and she always makes rational decisions. Knowing that 60% of spouses cheat and 50% of marriages end in divorce, she wasn't too surprised when her husband had an affair. (That he did so with a woman their daughter's age? Well, that part did sting a bit.) She just made sure she got everything in the divorce, including their lovely old Victorian house. And as soon as her younger daughter has her hipster-fabulous wedding in the backyard, she's trading it in for a condo in downtown Chicago... Well within the average market time in her area, Penny gets an offer on the house. But then life happens. Her children, her parents and her ex come flying back to the nest, all in need of Penny's emotional-and financial-support. Spread thin, Penny becomes the poster child for the "sandwich generation," when all she really wanted to do was make managing director, buy a white couch, and maybe go on a Match.com date...
Jen Lancaster (Author), Allyson Ryan (Narrator)
Audiobook
Bridesmaids meets The In-Laws in a novel told from the alternating perspectives of two women who define the term frenemies-from New York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster. Jacqueline Jordan knows conflict. A fearless journalist, she's spent the past decade embedded in the world's hot spots, writing about the fall of nations and the rise of despots. But if you were to inquire about who topped Jack's enemy list, she'd not hesitate to answer: Kitty Carricoe. Kitty reigns supreme over the world of carpools and minivans. A SAHM, she spends her days caring for her dentist husband and three towheaded children, running the PTA, and hiding vegetables in deceptively delicious packed lunches. Kitty and Jack haven't a single thing in common-except for Sarabeth Chandler, their mutual bestie. Sarabeth and Jack can be tomboys with the best of them, while Sarabeth can get her girly-girl on with Kitty. In fact, the three of them were college friends until the notorious frat party incident, when Jack accidentally hooked up with Kitty's boyfriend... Yet both women drop everything and rush to Sarabeth's side when they get the call that her fabulously wealthy husband has perished in a suspicious plane crash. To solve the mystery surrounding his death, Jack and Kitty must bury the hatchet and hit the road for a trip that just may bring them together-if it doesn't kill them first.
Jen Lancaster (Author), Emily Rankin, Julia Whelan (Narrator)
Audiobook
New York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster has lived a life based on re-invention and self-improvement. From Bitter Is the New Black to The Tao of Martha, she’s managed to document her (and her generation’s) attempts to shape up, grow up, and have it all—sometimes with disastrous results… Sure Jen has made mistakes. She spent all her money from a high-paying job on shoes, clothes, and spa treatments. She then carried a Prada bag to the unemployment office. She wrote a whole memoir about dieting…but didn’t lose weight. She embarked on a quest for cultural enlightenment that only cemented her love for John Hughes movies and Kraft American Singles. She tried to embrace everything Martha Stewart, while living with a menagerie of rescue cats and dogs. (Glitter…everywhere.) Mistakes are one thing; regrets are another. After a girls’ weekend in Savannah makes her realize that she is—yikes!—middle-aged (binge watching is so the new binge drinking), Jen decides to make a bucket list and seize the day, even if that means having her tattoo removed at one hundred times the cost of putting it on. From attempting a juice cleanse to studying Italian, from learning to ride a bike to starting a new business, and from sampling pasta in Rome to training for a 5K, Jen is turning a mid-life crisis into a mid-life opportunity, sharing her sometimes bumpy—but always hilarious—attempts to better her life…again.
Jen Lancaster (Author), Jen Lancaster (Narrator)
Audiobook
New York Times bestselling author Jen Lancaster is "as adept at fiction as she is at telling her own stories" (Publishers Weekly, starred review). And now in her new novel, reality gets an unreal makeover... Reagan Bishop is a pusher. A licensed psychologist who stars on the Wendy Winsberg cable breakout show I Need a Push, Reagan helps participants become their best selves by urging them to overcome obstacles and change behaviors. An overachiever, Reagan is used to delivering results. Despite her overwhelming professional success, Reagan never seems to earn her family's respect. Her younger sister, Geri, is and always will be the Bishop family favorite. When a national network buys Reagan's show, the pressures for unreasonably quick results and higher ratings mount. But Reagan's a clinician, not a magician, and fears witnessing her own personal failings in prime time. (And seriously? Her family will never let her hear the end of it.) Desperate to make the show work and keep her family at bay, Reagan actually listens when the show's New Age healer offers an unconventional solution... Record Nielsen ratings follow. But when Reagan decides to use her newfound power to teach everyone a lesson about sibling rivalry, she's the one who will be schooled...
Jen Lancaster (Author), Jen Lancaster (Narrator)
Audiobook
The Tao of Martha: My Year of LIVING; Or, Why I'm Never Getting All That Glitter Off of the Dog
One would think that with Jen Lancaster's impressive list of bestselling self-improvement memoirs-Bitter Is the New Black; Bright Lights, Big Ass; Such a Pretty Fat; Pretty in Plaid; My Fair Lazy; and Jeneration X-that she would have it all together by now. One would be wrong. Jen's still a little rough around the edges. Suffice it to say, she's no Martha Stewart. And that is exactly why Jen is going to Martha up and live her life according to the advice of America's overachieving older sister-the woman who turns lemons into lavender-infused lemonade. By immersing herself in Martha's media empire, Jen will embark on a yearlong quest to take herself, her house, her husband (and maybe even her pets) to the next level-from closet organization to craft making, from party planning to kitchen prep. Maybe Jen can go four days without giving herself food poisoning if she follows Martha's dictates on proper storage....Maybe she can grow closer to her girlfriends by taking up their boring-ass hobbies like knitting and sewing....Maybe she can finally rid her workout clothes of meatball stains by using Martha's laundry tips.... Maybe she can create a more meaningful anniversary celebration than just getting drunk in the pool with her husband....again. And maybe, just maybe, she'll discover that the key to happiness does, in fact, lie in Martha's perfectly arranged cupboards and artfully displayed charcuterie platters. Or maybe not.
Jen Lancaster (Author), Jen Lancaster (Narrator)
Audiobook
The Tao of Martha: My Year of LIVING; Or Why I'm Never Getting All Th
To smooth her admittedly rough edges, Jen Lancaster is going to 'Martha up' and live her life according to the advice of America's overachieving older sister. By immersing herself in Martha's media empire, Jen will embark on a yearlong quest to take herself, her house, her husband to the next level. Maybe Jen can go four days without giving herself food poisoning, if she follows Martha's dictates on proper storage. Maybe she can create a more meaningful anniversary celebration than just getting drunk in the pool with her husband...again. And maybe, just maybe, she'll discover that the key to happiness does, in fact, lie in Martha's perfectly arranged cupboards and artfully displayed charcuterie platters. Or maybe not...
Jen Lancaster (Author), Jen Lancaster (Narrator)
Audiobook
The second novel from the New York Times bestselling author of If You Were Here takes us back to the hair metal 80's. Twenty years after ruling the halls of her suburban Chicago high school, Lissy Ryder doesn't understand why her glory days ended. Back then, she was worshipped...beloved...feared. Present day, not so much. She's been pink-slipped from her high-paying job, dumped by her husband and kicked out of her condo. Now, at thirty-seven, she's struggling to start a business out of her parents' garage and sleeping under the hair-band posters in her old bedroom. Lissy finally realizes karma is the only bitch bigger than she was. Her present is miserable because of her past. But it's not like she can go back in time and change who she was...or can she?
Jen Lancaster (Author), Jen Lancaster (Narrator)
Audiobook
Jeneration X: One Reluctant Adult's Attempt to Unarrest Her Arrested Development; Or, Why It's Never
In Such a Pretty Fat, Jen Lancaster learned how to come to terms with her body. In My Fair Lazy, she expanded her mind. Now the New York Times bestselling author gives herself-and her generation-a kick in the X, by facing her greatest challenge to date: acting her age. Jen is finally ready to put away childish things (except her Barbie Styling Head, of course) and embrace the investment-making, mortgage-carrying, life-insurance-having adult she's become. From getting a mammogram to volunteering at a halfway house, she tackles the grown-up activities she's resisted for years, and with each rite of passage she completes, she'll uncover a valuable-and probably humiliating-life lesson that will ease her path to full-fledged, if reluctant, adulthood.
Jen Lancaster (Author), Jen Lancaster (Narrator)
Audiobook
The fiction debut of the New York Times bestselling author of My Fair Lazy. Told in the uproariously entertaining voice readers have come to expect from Jen Lancaster, If You Were Here follows Amish-zombie-teen- romance author Mia and her husband Mac (and their pets) through the alternately frustrating, exciting, terrifying-but always funny-process of buying and renovating their first home in the Chicago suburbs that John hughes's movies made famous. Along their harrowing renovation journey, Mia and Mac get caught up in various wars with the homeowners' association, meet some less-than-friendly neighbors, and are joined by a hilarious cast of supporting characters, including a celebutard ex- landlady. As they struggle to adapt to their new surroundings- with Mac taking on the renovations himself- Mia and Mac will discover if their marriage is strong enough to survive months of DIY renovations.
Jen Lancaster (Author), Jamie Heinlein (Narrator)
Audiobook
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